Top 10 best hit songs of 2016

2016 had a real drought of good music charting in the United States. Beyonce released a hugely-hyped and amazing album and only one song crawled onto the bottom half of the year-end list. Huge albums from Radiohead, the 1975 and Kanye West failed to have any hits that stuck around. Prince died and 'Purple Rain' re-entered the top 10 and was way better than anything in the top 100. That said, there was some decent music in the charts. The only criteria is a placing on the Billboard top 100 year-end list and to have not been on it last year, otherwise 2015 hits would be half this list - but anyway:

10. Flo Rida - My house




Yes, the piano line is ripped straight from 'Trampoline' by Kalin and Myles, and yes the song is shallow and yes, the pre-chorus is pretty awful, but I can't help but love 'My House'. The piano line is bouncy, the song is incredibly fun and in a year where music slogged along at a snails pace, this managed to speed things up without being a trashy EDM monstrosity.

9. Jeremih - oui




Why couldn't we get more of this kind of music in the chats in 2016? Music that just, ya know... sounded really good. 'oui' reminds me of one of my favourite 2013 hits, 'Suit & Tie' by Justin Timberlake and Jay Z, (The song references it in the chorus and the bright keyboards are obviously inspired by it.) and yet it doesn't feel like a copy, and so just ends up as a great song.

8. Adele - When we Were Young




One of the only slow songs to chart this year that wasn't boring, 'WWWY' is easily as good as 'Rolling in the Deep' or 'Someone Like You' and is also one of the few songs to try and tell a story in the lyrics, which was refreshing. It's also great to hear a song build up to a climactic final chorus, something which is so rare that only someone with the fame of Adele could make it into a top-20 hit.

7. Beyonce - Sorry




There were two massive songs this year titled 'Sorry' - an overplayed but otherwise bearable Justin Beiber song and an infinitely better Beyonce song. The only song that really stuck around from 'Lemonade', this isn't the best song off the album, but is still great. With angry lyrics backed by one of the best instrumentals of the year, it's as astoundingly real as everything else Beyonce has done in 2016.

6. Twenty-one pilots - Stressed Out



Obviously this was overplayed to the point where it was basically white noise, so it's hard to re-listen to this song with fresh ears. Nonetheless, it's far more interesting than so much of 2016's produce, with lyrics that are perhaps the most relatable of the year (Hence why it as so big.) and a chorus which is both unconventional and builds on itself every time. Plus, it was so refreshing simply to hear real drums on a massive hit.

5. Mike Posner - I Took A Pill In Ibiza (SeeB remix)



Nobody was expecting this. Not only did Mike Posner return from obscurity out of seemingly nowhere, he did purely out of the power of how good 'Ibiza' is. The most personal song to end up on Year-end list, it's so specific to Mike Posner that it's a wonder the public latched onto it - Hell, the original acoustic version didn't make any waves until the remix. But the remix is the superior version of 'Ibiza', with it's legitimately great drop that manages to give off fittingly creepy, chaotic vibes and yet also be danceable.

4. Bruno Mars - 24k Magic



YES, IT WASN'T ON THE YEAR END 100, but you can't deny that this was a massive hit. Plus there honestly aren't 10 great songs that landed on the list (I mean, I put Flo Rida on here...). Ultimately, 24k Magic is pretty much perfect. Bruno Mars has slowly morphed from one of the most unbearable artists of the early 2010s into someone making massive retro jams that give respect to the classics while creating banging modern classics in the process. It's almost the most fun song of the year.

3. The Weeknd - Starboy




Any song that stops Daft Punk from being known as one-hit wonders in the US already has my gratitude, but 'Starboy' is far more than an attempt to stay relevant - it's the Weeknd declaring that he has won the music industry. And with beats this sharp you believe him.

2. Flume ft. Kai - Never Be Like You




The weirdest, wonkiest hit of the year. Sure, Flume's glitch-pop masterpiece felt out of place next to the Rihannas and Drakes of the year, but that only added to it's charm. It's wailing, trippy and one of the catchiest songs of the year. Many hits of this year will be forgotten quickly - and trust me that's for the better - but 'Never be like you' will be one of the defining songs of 2016 for years to come.

1. D.R.A.M. ft. Lil Yachty - Broccoli




2016 was year where hip-hop struggled in comparison to recent year. Most big hits were terrible (Juju on that beat), Not rap at all (Drake) or memes (Panda). But there was one song, one unexpected breakthrough hit that outclassed every song released all year. And yes, I believe that song to be 'Broccoli'. It's the piano. It's the infection happiness in D.R.A.M's voice, it's every charmingly terrible line Lil Yachty spits. But most of all it's that flute! It sounds straight out of 'Earthbound' and I'm 100% sure it's not only why this song was a smash, but also the best hit song of 2016.

Top 10 Worst songs of 2016

Only rule: It has to have been a hit, otherwise this would just be 10 songs form 'Angelic to the Core: Angelic Rockadelic/ Angelic Funkadelic' by Corey Feldman. Now that that's out of the way...

2016 was a rubbish year for pop music, with way more bad songs than good, and it was a suprise to see a good song in the top 10 once in a while whether you lived in the UK or the USA. It seemed like the trend of the year was sounding-like-you're-not-trying and so artists like Drake and Rihanna sleepwalked themselves onto the radio with such force that it made me stop listening to top 40 radio, which I still haven't returned to. But what was the worst of the worst?

10. Fifth Harmony ft. Obligatory Rapper for Mainstream appeal - Work From Home



Where to start, eh? For a group named 'Fifth Harmony' there isn't a whole lot of harmonising going on, or a lot of effort in the vocal department. The lyrics are trash, and I can't help but feel like (combined with the music video) they're just an attempt to sell the 'sexiness' of the song - especially considering it was written by six men. The production has a lullaby feel to it that makes me sleepy and the melody is ripped completely fro the even-worse 'Gotta Get Thru This' by Daniel Bedingfield from 2001, and there's an obligatory rap verse from Ty Dolla Sign.

9. The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey - Closer



Another song that rips it melody straight out of the 2000s, 'Closer' ruins the melody of The Fray's hit 'Over My Head (Cable Car)'. That's far from the only problem, with super-cheap sounding minimalist production and Andrew Taggart giving an unbearable vocal performance. Number one for 10 weeks.

8. Zay Hilfigerrr and Zayion McCall - Juju On That Beat




Another year, another four note stupid dance song. It's no worse than 'Watch me Whip/Nae Nae' or 'Teach Me How To Dougie', but man, I'm getting too old for these kinds of songs. 'If you compare me and you, there wouldn't be no comparance' is maybe the worst lyric of the year.

7. Maroon 5 ft. Kendrick Lamar - Don't Wanna Know




Much like a stupid dance song, at this point it's an annual occurrence for Maroon 5 to release a terrible piece of music, whether it's 'One More Night', 'Animals' or 'This Summer' and once again 'Don't Wanna Know' isn't much worse. It is, however, by far the most boring Maroon 5 (At this point it's just Adam Levine let's be honest) song and KENDRICK LAMAR SHOULD NOT BE ON THIS SONG. The music video's pretty good though.

6. Drake - One Dance



(Yes, it's not the official video, but it's close enough and you know what it sounds like by now.)
'One Dance' doesn't feel like a song. It uses the ultimate stock beat, the most basic sparse piano and an awkward slowed down sample as the 'music' of the song, with lyrics about needing 'a one dance' and Drake sounding asleep the whole time. Now it's the second longest-running number one in UK history.

5. Meghan Trainor - NO




Did Meghan Trainor successfully transfer from making unbearable doo-wop to making edgy 90s pop? NO
Does this song sound good? NO
In all seriousness though, Meghan Trainor could be preaching world peace and I would still feel inclined to disagree because of her self-righteousness and apparent superiority complex.

4. Hailee Steinfeld, Grey ft. Zedd - Starving




It's not too bad until the chorus. Then the lyrics are the first aspect of the song to crash and burn as the line 'By the way, By the way you do things to my body' is confusingly thrown in despite not rhyming, taking all momentum out of the narrative and being a super-clunky line in it's own right. But the real reason this is on here is that AWFUL drop. Just what I want to hear when I tune into Capital FM - Headache-inducing screams from Hell!

3. Charlie Puth - One Call Away




Up until this point I've met someone who likes each of these songs - but none of these top 3 have in my experience got a single fan. 'One Call Away' sounds like the kind of music a senile Puritan grandma would want you to listen to, but Charlie Puth's high pitched squeal of a voice means that even she would flip stations. 'Superman got nothing on me' is not only a line that makes me contort whenever I hear it but is the most forced rhyme of the year.

2. Shawn Mendes - Treat You Better




My least favourite song topic in general is 'I'm going to steal your significant other', and Shawn Mendes' ode from the friend-zone is this topic mixed with awkward teenage angst. It's completely unaware of itself and sounds like something a 14 year-old boy would write in a diary. The production is 'Tropical-flavoured', similarly to Maroon 5's effort, and is equally as boring. The cherry on top is the climactic injured-animal cry of 'BADDADANEEKAN' which is probably the most mockably bad musical moment of the year.

1. Meghan Trainor - Me Too




I'm not exaggerating when I say this is the worst song I have heard in all my time following the charts. Even if I was including anything that came out this year - which includes 'Spoons' by Macklemore and the aforementioned Corey Feldman - This would still be number one. The audacity that somebody with an image as already dislikable as Meghan Trainor to suggest that I would want to LITERALLY BECOME HER is unbearable. This isn't a self-love anthem, but a 'Meghan Trainor love' anthem that somehow became a hit. The production sounds like an autotuned frog reminiscent of a squashed up Will.i.am beat and the lyrics... 'My life's a movie Tom cruise, Bless me baby, ah-choo' is Right Said Fred levels of terrible and by the end of the song you feel legitimate hatred for the performer that calls herself 'Meghan Trainor', mainly because you just had to sit through three minutes of the worst music that will hopefully ever grace the radio. It's all the small things, the 'Turndebassup' refrain the weirdly whisper-spoken chorus the oddly specific lyrics... It doesn't get worse than this.

Top 20 Albums of 2016

2016 has been a big year for albums, with loads of the biggest artists around dropping hyped LPs. Since the big releases for the year are mostly done, I thought it would be cool to list my top 20 favourite albums of the year. And yes, this does mean that if an album isn't on here it's more likely that I didn't hear it than didn't like it ( It's taking me a while to get into Death Grips 'Bottomless Pit' for example). Nonetheless, every album on here is great. Some were surprise released, some had years of build-up and some were great debut albums - here we go!

20. The 1975 - I like it when you sleep for you are so beautiful, yet so unaware of it

A pop-rock album generally shouldn't be an hour and 14 minutes long, but 'ILIWYSFYASBYSUOI', the 1975s follow-up to their 2013 debut manages it with style and variety. There really is something for everybody here, from the pure pop of 'UGH!' and 'The Sound' to the more subtle 'Loving Someone' and the mighty 'Change of Heart'. Sure, it has three or four tracks that should have cut, but that's what skip buttons were made for. Also, marks deducted for that terrible album title.

19. Red Hot Chili Peppers - The Getaway

An album that took most of the year to grow on me, 'The Getaway' is half an album of melodic, dreamy guitars and a (better) half of classic riffs, slapped basslines and general funkiness. Any band that can produce songs like 'Dark Necessities', 'Dreams of a Samurai' and 'Goodbye angels' are definitely not past their prime, and 'The Getaway' shows how they can still produce solid albums to this day.

18. Angel Olsen - MY WOMAN

A retro-feeling and hugely praised second album, 'MY WOMAN' is a warbling, rocking collection. Much like 'The Getaway', it's an album of two halves, the first half full of the uptempo, exciting material, but the second half definitely holds up. Also, it reminds me of one of my favourite albums from last year, 'Sometimes I Sit and Think, Sometimes I Just Sit' by Courtney Barnett, which can only be a good thing.

17. Green Day - Revolution Radio

This one has the potential to be polarising - If you don't like Green Day you won't like this album - but definitely deserves to be on this list. Green Day are hardly the first band to bounce back from releasing a bad album (or in this case 3) as you'll see later on the list, but they have managed to not just return to form but exceed themselves, with their best album since 'American Idiot'. 

From the punk energy of 'Bang bang' to the epic of 'Forever now', this is the best pop-punk album released in a year filled with all of the heavyweights returning - and not necessarily better (Blink-182 anyone?).

16. YG - Still Brazy

I initially dismissed YG as just another generic rapper without listening to any of his material - his big hit is called 'Why you always Hatin'' after all - but when I finally sat down to listen to 'Still Brazy' I was blown away. It's a slick gangsta rap album that sounds simultaneously like a throwback and relevant to 2016. With highlights including 'Don't come to LA', 'Twist My Fingaz' and of course the adopted anthem 'F**k Donald Trump', it's one of the best hip-hop releases coming out in the increasingly saturated rap market.

15. Iggy Pop - Post Pop Depression

A compilation of some of the best Rock-and-roll purists in the business, 'Post Pop Depression' managed to make Iggy Pop relevant once again, and the World is better for it. Sounding straight out of the 60s and with a backing band made of some of the most respected rock-revivalists in the business the album is full of jams like 'Gardenia' and 'Sunday'. It's something every rock fan has an obligation to listen to.

14. Kaytranada - 99.9%

One of the most promising debut albums of the year, Kaytranada seems to be a producer who has an immediately distinct sound and a vision, as demonstrated by '99.9%'s amazing and appropriate guest features (including Anderson Paak - 'Malibu' just missed this list - Little Dragon and most surprisingly Craig David) combined with his catchy, bassy instrumentals behind each tune.

13. Frank Ocean - Blonde

The much memed and most anticipated album of the year, 'Blonde' delivered exactly what everyone had wanted and more - smooth, soulful tunes. It may take time to get into but once tunes like 'Ivy', 'Solo' and 'Nights' take hold of you it's hard to get them off repeat. Now we just have to wait until 2020 for his next album...

12. Shura - Nothing's Real

One of the more lyrically-interesting synthpop artists to spring up this year, Shura dropped her incredible debut album 'Nothing's Real' this year and garnered a fair amount of attention for it. Her songs have been played on the radio and even covered by Mumford + Sons, standing as a testament to the catchiness and brilliance of every song on the album. Self conscious at points, occasionally heartbreaking and always interesting it's almost my favourite pop album of 2016.

11. Kendrick Lamar - Untitled Unmastered

Kendrick Lamar is one of the only artists around right now who could drop what is essentially a B-sides collection and still have someone banging it out at every sixth-form common room in the country. Needless to say, 'Untitled' doesn't feel like a shabby pile of throwaways but a more upbeat and lighter partner to 2015s AOTY 'To Pimp a Butterfly' and each track is a league above what most of his rivals will ever create.

10. Radiohead - A Moon Shaped Pool

Another of the most hyped releases of the year, Radiohead finally followed up their least-liked album since 'Pablo Honey' with something everyone quickly agreed on as superb. Somehow outdoing themselves in terms of sadness and heartbreak, 'A Moon Shaped Pool' is one of the most bleak records of the year and one which might take a while to click, but is definitely worth the effort.

9. Jamie T - Trick

The most english album of the year, nearly every song on 'Trick' is a classic, from the Rage-against-the-machine style 'Tinfoil boy' and 'Police tapes' to the pure pop-rock of 'Joan of Arc' and 'Robin Hood', the album has an assortment of different styles that it pulls off amazingly well. I would even go as far as to call this Jamie T's masterpiece, and the fact it's only at number 9 shows just how good this year's been.

8. Drive-By Truckers - American Band

In a year that's been especially turbulent for politics the World needed a great protest album and that's exactly what 'American Band' is. More accurately, it's a State-of-the-Nation LP that rocks hard and covers topics from Police shootings to migration in a classic Americana way. When this year is finally over, 'American Band' will be the time capsule of just how horrible 2016 was for the World.

7. Beyonce - Lemonade

I found Beyonce's 2014 self titled album pretty underwhelming for how much critics loved it, so when 'Lemonade' was released to similarly rave reviews I was expecting more of the same - but this time I agreed with the endless five star scores. 'Lemonade' is the kind of album that most pop stars would consider too risky to release, with blunt, angry lyrics and collaborating with highly respected alternative artists like Jack White and James Blake, but Beyonce pulls off the numerous different styles and tones with ease. Still, it could do without the airhorns.

6. David Bowie - Blackstar

Blackstar would likely be somewhere on this list if it had just been 40 minutes of Bowie wailing - it's a music legend's final gift after all - but that 'Blackstar' is the best Bowie record for decades just makes it even  more tragic that he had to go. The difference between listening to 'Blackstar' before and after Bowie's death was that before he died it was an incredible experimental jazz/rock album with some cryptic lyrics about death. After January 10th it was a shining memoir of the Starman himself. Also, well done Bowie for managing to get a song called 'Tis a pity she was a whore' onto a concept album about your own death.

5. Tegan and Sara - Love you to Death

This album should definitely be lower than it is. That said, I can at least try and justify why a breezy synthpop album with completely artificial production and lyrics about almost exclusively love and sex is above David Bowie's final album. Because every moment on 'Love you to Death' is joyous, every song is almost unbearably catchy and there are some genuinely interesting and great lyrical moments. It's the perfect pop album and amongst experiments and epics everybody needs smething to dance to. 

4. Danny Brown - Atrocity Exhibition

The hip-hop album of the year, 'Atrocity Exhibition' is an image of Danny Brown at his lowest. That's not to say that this album is depressing - 'Ain't it funny' and 'Really Doe' prove this aptly - but that it's very dark. Danny Brown is hardly the first rapper to talk about drugs, but the vivid descriptions of his desperate drug crawls and addiction problems coupled with beats that you wouldn't expect to ever function, let alone sound as great as they do, make one of the most insane, experimental and creative records of the year.

3. Weezer - Weezer (White Album)

Through sheer happiness and breeziness - and maybe a few cannolis - 'The White Album' became Weezer's best album since the 90s in just a few listens. A beach album that sounds like... Well Weezer covering the Beach Boys. At just over half an hour it's got immense replayability value (It's my most listened to album of the whole year on Spotify) and every individual track is classic Weezer, with guitar solos and weezery guitars and cannolis and- It's the most fun album of the year and I love it.

2. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Skeleton Tree

The album you were probably expecting at number 1 is the most emotional experience I've had with any album for a long time, and I can't even relate to it. Nick Cave's career best vocal performance coupled with imagery smothered lyrics that range from the most chilling of the year (Jesus Alone) to warm and hopeful (Skeleton Tree). Few people will ever go through the bereavement Cave did during the creation of this record, but he manages to convey the emptiness, sickness and dismay so well that you feel it strongly just from listening. This album is a masterpiece, and will likely be remembered as one of the best albums of the 2010s.

1. Car Seat Headrest - Teens Of Denial

Yes! You read that correctly! 'Teens of Denial' by Car Seat Headrest is my favourite album of 2016, and by some distance. 'Skeleton Tree' is pretty much perfect, but I've only been able to make it through the album a handful of times because of how intense the emotion is. Meanwhile, 'Teens of Denial' is so creative, hilarious and just plain awesome that I've listened to it consistently every week since I first discovered it at the end of May. At an hour and 10 minutes long and with unconventional and winding song structures it took me a while to get into, but once I did...

Where to start? Every single song on this album is amazing and memorable - especially Song of the year contenders 'Drunk Drivers/ Killer Whales', 'The Ballad of Costa Concordia' and 'Vincent' - But the songs all come together to form a fascinating insight into Will Toledo's teenage life. I will admit that much of the reason I love this album comes from sheer relatability, as many of the song topics are more relevant to my life than anything else this year, and speaking of song topics they are varied and brilliant: Drunk driving, crap parties, the crashing of the Italian cruise liner Costa Concordia and taking advice online to name a few. 

So if you want the most triumphant, energetic and best album of 2016, 'Teens of Denial' is the album for you.

TOP 20 SONGS OF 2016

So 2016 is finally over, and regardless of how you feel about the year in general, it has undoubtedly been a great year for music. When looking back it's incredible just how many big artists released albums this year, from Radiohead to Beyonce to Drake to the Red Hot Chili Peppers to Frank Ocean, it's the kind of line up that any contemporary music fan would scramble for. Obviously some of these were better than others, but that's not what you're here for - so I present you with my personal top 20 favourite songs of 2016!

20. D.R.A.M ft. Lil Yachty - Broccoli



Broccoli is the biggest hit on this list, in a year which has been one of the all-time worst in terms of chart music. It's catchy, charming and ludicrously happy, cutting through the bland overproduced nonsense on the radio like nothing else this year has. That said, this song would be even higher if it didn't have Lil Yachty almost spoiling the first half - luckily the rest is so good it still nabs a spot on this list.

19. Jamie T - Tescoland



One of the highlights from Jamie's album 'Trick', 'Tescoland' describes how fame hasn't changed him, but that he wishes it had, and does so in an upbeat, riff heavy rock and roll banger. It's also the most english song I've heard all year, with references to London buses and of course Tesco.

18. Angel Olson - Shut up Kiss me



The poppiest song on 'MY WOMAN' was also my favourite, with big 80s guitars and a typically warbly and off-kilter vocal from Olson. Way too many songs of recent times have centred around the words 'Shut up', but if they were all this good I wouldn't complain.

17. Frank Ocean - Solo/Solo (Reprise)

Frank Ocean teams up with Andre 3000 for two tracks which are linked through the theme of loneliness, but like all of 'Blonde' (Or 'Blond' if we're going to look at the album cover. I don't get it, I mean his hair isn't even blonde in the cover it's green- Ok I'll stop.) it's a subtle, relaxing piece. That it, at least until Andre 3000 drops one of the best guest verses of the year which unsurprisingly became one of the main talking points of the LP.

16. Kendrick Lamar - Untitled 07 levitate

Only Kendrick Lamar could release B-sides and throwaways and end up with music as fully formed, brilliant and interesting as seen on 'Untitled Unmastered'. 'Levitate' may have a contradictory title (It's the only song on the collection with a given title) but it's the best song off 'Unmastered', with several different parts all as interesting as each other, from a kid singing about Compton to four minutes of Kendrick essentially messing around on a guitar with some friends. Surprisingly brilliant.

15. Shura - Touch




Shura made one of the best debut albums of 2016, and this was the jewel in the crown - a haunting, hook heavy minimalist ballad that bafflingly wasn't a hit despite being completely in line with the criteria for a smash this year and being way better than the competition.

14. The 1975 - A Change of Heart



The 1975's creepily titled album more or less lives up to the hype it had surrounding it as long as you take out the 3 tracks making up 15 minutes of ambient nothingness, but this song threatens to overshadow most of 'i like it when you sleep'. It's heartbreaking, bleak and danceable all at once, making the best thing the band has ever done.

13. Beyonce ft. Kendrick Lamar - Freedom



*VIDEO CONTAINS STROBE LIGHTING* and while I'm at it the live version has quite afew differences to the studio version but whatever.

Of course there was going to be a song from Beyonce on here, after she dropped maybe the biggest and most critically acclaimed (but one) album of the year. I could have put pretty much any song from 'Lemonade' on here - 'Sorry' and 'Don't hurt yourself' in particular - but 'Freedom' is my pick. Incredibly catchy, incredible guest verse and like 'Formation' is extremely relevant to 2016.

12. Two Door Cinema Club - Bad decisions



An amazing tune from from a mediocre album, 'Bad decisions' is unlike anything Two Door Cinema Club have ever done, and makes you wish it wasn't an anomaly. A warm, buzzing 80s inspired, funky single it certainly isn't a bad decision to check this song out.

11. YG & Nipsey Hussle - FDT



2016 has been filled with atrocious political music from musicians who are so terrified of the idea of a Trump presidency that they forget that songs are supposed to sound good, and after his election I'm expecting even more. The biggest problem with this for me is that we don't need any more anti-Trump music after 'F**k Donald Trump' by YG and Hussle. The bluntest and biggest middle-finger of the year - backed with production that could get even Trump to start nodding his head.

10. Radiohead - Burn the Witch



Coupled with the best video of the year, Radiohead surprise released their best song since 2008 at the turn of May. Being a Radiohead song, 'Burn the witch' needs little explanation but in short, its paranoid, tense and has a chilling chorus that made me remember why I love them so much.

9. Glass Animals - Life itself



The song that brought Glass animals to my attention, 'Life itself' has an exotic and unique instrumental paired with an intriguing character study about a nerdy Camden-bound boy. Topped off with the years most explosive chorus and you've got a quirky masterpiece.

8. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Goodbye Angels



'Goodbye' angels is a pretty great song by itself for the first 3 and half minutes. But when Kiedis yells 'Kiss this!' and Flea starts slapping the bass like mad in a riff that is the coolest you will feel listening to music all year. That's not the official video by the way, it's weird even for Chili's standards.

7. Weezer - L.A. Girlz



Talking of weird videos, Weezer's self titled 10th LP had it's fair share, including the one for standout track 'L.A. Girlz', which surpasses it's terrible song title to be a sunny, happy tune with the best solo of the year. I can't explain why I love the solo so much, but then again I can't explain why there's a LIL WAYNE GUEST VERSE ON A WEEZER ALBUM- but yeah, this song rules.

6. Drive-by Truckers - Darkened Flags at The Cusp of Dawn

Riff of the year. Drive-by Truckers took everyone by surprise by releasing an incredibly well-received political album and while there's many contenders for the best song off it, 'Darkened flags' carries that killer riff throughout most of the song while moving through bleak images that include the one which was chosen to present the whole album - a half masted flag.

5. Danny Brown - Ain't it funny



The most insane, restless song of the year, 'Ain't it funny' may turn some listeners away with Brown's Mickey mouse-voiced rhymes and production like nothing else before it, but this just makes it one of the many highlights off of 'Atrocity exhibition'.

4. Tegan and Sara - U-turn



BEST POP SONG OF 2016! This is the song I've listened to most over the year, and even though I've heard it every other day since 'Love you to Death' dropped in Spring I'm not tired of it yet. The synth line has been lodged in my head for days on end, along with the explosive chorus. About as perfect as a pop song can be.

3. Car Seat Headrest - Drunk drivers/ Killer whales



'Drunk drivers/ Killer whales' is in many ways similar to most of Car Seat Headrest's modern masterpiece 'Teens of Denial': It starts off slow, is filled with surprising and brilliant musical choices that mean, much like a drunk driver, you never know what's going to happen to next. I almost feel like I should put a spoiler warning here, since the false start of the first two choruses lull the listener into thinking they're listening to a mid-tempo relaxing ballad about the dangers of intoxication. Then THAT CHORUS hits and you're singing along in seconds. Triumphant, pained and confused it's the best rock song to come out this year.

2. David Bowie - I can't give Everything Away




It should be obvious why this song is so high even if you've never heard it - Bowie was an icon and a genius, and anybody that can release an album two days before they die deserves a lot of respect. That 'Blackstar' is one of the best albums of the year and that 'I can't give everything away' is the final song on Bowie's final album ensures that it will never be forgotten. The song is heartbreaking with context, and even without context it's uplifting and experimental in the best way.

1. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Magneto



'Magneto' is crushing. More accurately, All of 'Skeleton tree' is crushing, almost too crushing to listen to at some points. Nick Cave's album about his deceased son's unexpected and terrifying death is the most emotionally affecting album to come out this decade - maybe even this millennia, and 'Magneto' is the bleak core, focusing more than any other track on the LP on how Nick Cave was personally affected by the tragedy. The lyrics are out of the league of everything else released this year, with imagery so strong you can almost taste sick in your mouth when Cave sings "in the bathroom mirror I see me vomit in the sink" and the chorus with it's refrain "one more time with feeling" is the most destroying sentence I've heard in almost any song ever. It feels a bit cheap to call this the best song of the year, since it's so personal and affecting, but I can honestly say no song had a greater impact on me in 2016 than 'Magneto'.

Black Beatles and Juju on that beat review

I've long given up on pop music in 2016, so at this point in the year I just want to see how low the Billboard top 10 can drop in quality. When I saw today that there is FINALLY a new number one (See my 'Closer' review for the reasons why) I was overjoyed. Then I found out that it was 'Black Beatles' by Rae Sremmurd - but I'll get into that in a minute. Another song that caught my attention was 'Juju on that beat' by Zay Hilfigerrr (Yes it is really written like that) and Zayion McCall, which had remained at number 8. Since I live in the UK where neither song is a big hit yet, I hadn't heard either so I checked them both out. What did I find?

'Black beatles' by Rae Sremmurd ft. Gucci Mane



I kind of love Rae Sremmurd in a so-bad-they're-good way. 'No flex zone' is still one of my go to brilliantly terrible rap tunes I bang out from time to time, usually in Skype calls very loudly. The rest of their discography is just as bad if not worse - 'No type' especially. That's why I was concerned to see them at number one: Has America really fallen this far? Well, 'Black beatles' isn't at number one because of the song, rather because of the #MannequinChallenge, where large groups of people freeze in position as somebody films the whole experience while this song plays in the background. The trend itself is probably the best I've seen so far online, it's entertaining to watch and seems fun to be part of - but anyway, onto the song.

I actually like it... unironically. It's not amazing or anything, but it's got a decent tune and decent production, which is more than can be said of most of this year's big hits. The backing vocals in the chorus are especially great, and fit with the dark, grimey tone very well. Honestly, the most annoying thing about the song is that Rae Sremmurd are comparing themselves to the Beatles, which is obviously not something anybody should do, let alone the creators of perhaps some of the worst songs of the decade. The lyrics aren't even that bad, at least by Sremmurd's standards. I'm not sure if this is the first number-one to feature the words 'Old Geezer' but I certainly hope it isn't the last.

6/10

'Juju on That Beat' by Zay Hilfigerrr &Zayion McCall


This song on the other hand, is trash. You guys remember 'Watch me Whip/Nae Nae', the inexplicable smash hit from last year that repeated other people's already established dances behind a four second loop of a generic beat? If you added in two AWFUL rap verses and swapped out the dances it would become 'Juju on That Beat'. It's not quite as bad as 'Watch me', as the production, while incredibly annoying is still not as bad as Silento's and there are at least actual lyrics in this song.

There's very little to really say about the production, it sounds like a stock beat. The rapping is bad, especially the second guy (I can't be arsed to research which of these two he is, it's not like he's gonna have another hit) who doesn't even try to make some of his lines rhyme and seems suspiciously like he was the first guys friend and just spontaneously decided to be a rapper, practiced for about a week and then recorded this verse. It's still not the worst song of the year, but it's close.

2/10

The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey - Closer review

It's fair to say that 'Closer' is the biggest song on the planet right now. It's spent 11 weeks at number one on the Billboard Hot 100, and it's still there as I write this, with no signs of slowing down. So does it deserve to be in that position?


Nope. The song's bland minimalist verses are filled with finger clicks that were prominent in the Chainsmokers big hit 'Roses' - which was a lot better than 'Closer', but anyway - and with the voice of Andrew Taggart, who's one half of the Chainsmokers. His voice lacks any kind of charisma or energy and I would be incredibly surprised if it hasn't been autotuned. Halsey handles the other verses and manages to match Taggart with her energy-sucking performance. This is far from the worst thing Halsey's done *Cough*New Americana*Cough*, but that just highlights how little good material she's been involved with.

My biggest problem with the song is the drop. In general I don't like the concept of the drop, but it can still be done brilliantly - SeeB's massive remix of Mike Posner's 'I took a pill in Ibiza' for example - but 'Closer' has a drop worse than most. For one thing it's exactly the same as a piano riff from the Fray's timeless 2005 hit 'Over my Head (Cable Car)', so similar that the Chainsmokers later credited the Fray as songwriters on 'Closer'. The synth used in the drop sounds brittle and cheap, and with no other instrumentation backing it up it sounds pretty awful.

To be honest I'm not even sure why this song is as big as it is. It's more boring than cringingly terrible, which makes it another tired, generic and generally uninteresting number one single of 2016.

3/10

Maroon 5 ft. Kendrick Lamar - Don't wanna know review

Maroon 5 have got worse and worse every album they've released with remarkable consistency. Few bands have such a simple and obvious downward slide, and it seems to be because of Adam Levine's obsession with popularity. Every album Maroon 5 get less and less like a band and more like Adam Levine's solo career - as shown aptly by 'Don't wanna know'.



This is by far the limpest Adam Lev- er, I mean, Maroon 5 song yet. The tropical house instrumentation sounds like a stock beat and also like everything on the radio. There is no build-up, there is no variation and the chorus is extremely repetitive. Last time Kendrick Lamar and Adam Levine collaborated it was on 'YOLO' with The Lonely Island, a super-catchy song that I still adore to this day. On this song he gets under 20 seconds to spit 4 bars which are all a bit rubbish (At this point it's pretty evident Lamar is saving his best material for his more highly held-features.).

The positives of the song aren't really positives as much as they are correcting previous things that were wrong with the band. Levine's falsetto is thankfully toned down and the song isn't creepy and makes sense lyrically. If you need to fall asleep quickly just put this song on repeat. Also, the music video was outdated the day it was released.

2/10

Twenty One Pilots - Heathens review

It's Halloween! I love October 31st, and I couldn't let it pass without reviewing the most appropriate song currently hanging around the charts, 'Heathens' by Twenty-one pilots (Currently number 3 on the Billboard hot 100). I like TOP, they have a very large volume of very good material - the only problem I have with them is their almost cult-like fan base, which isn't their fault and is the main topic of 'Heathens' as a song.

The lyrics are pretty great for the most part, mainly because they manage to fit in with the 'Suicide Squad' movie the song was likely commissioned for, and relate the story of the supervillains to their fanbases growing troubles. The cult fanbase of TOP is unlike any band since 'My Chemical Romance', and the duo acknowledging this and actively trying to mend it through a song isn't the likely basis for a hit, but it has two things to thank for it's success:

The first is 'Suicide Squad', which might not have done very well critically or commercially but meant that 'Heathens' had a massive marketing push behind it, since it was a large part of the movie's promotion. The production on the song is what's kept it around though, with the creepy minimalism of the verses building up to the explosive drop, filled with a strangely creepy croak sound.

The song does have flaws though, the chorus is repeated just a little too often and the song could do with some variation in the second drop - such as a solo - since it's otherwise exactly the same but with less power due to less build-up. The main problem however is the pitch shifting. Tyler's vocals are sandwiched between extremely high and low pitched voices that are annoying and don't add anything to the song.

Nonetheless, 'Heathens' is a decent song that will likely have a long lifetime because it's going to be in Halloween playlists for the next decade at least. Twenty One-Pilots have released much better music, but if I had to listen to 'Heathens' once every year, I certainly wouldn't complain.

7/10

 

Why I hate modern EDM

Let me just start off by saying that, obviously, there is a fair amount of good modern EDM in existence. Certain artists such as Avicii and Robin Schulz seem to be fairly competent, but the massive majority of EDM in the mainstream is terrible. Notice I said mainstream so you can come to me all you want with your underground producers, I'm talking about the big guns.

So why do I hate EDM? Well, first we have to see how it even broke into the mainstream. It seems to have originated from Disco in the underground and gradually became popular in the UK through the popularisation of House, Garage and Drum & Bass among a bunch of other genres. By the early 2000s loads of European EDM was clogging up the charts - Darude's 'Sandstorm' for example. Still, this wasn't bad at all, and although I wouldn't voluntarily listen to much of it I could definitely jam to it if it came on the radio. EDM quietly bubbled along as one of those genres that would quite regularly have large hits but was still semi-obscure in Britain, until a combination of big tracks in 2006-7. 

These were 'Put your hands up 4 Detroit' by Fedde Le Grand, which was a number one smash in the UK that was arguably the first absolutely massive song to have a very conventional drop, and just before it was 'Sexyback' by Justin Timberlake which introduced the general public to heavy artificial instrumentation. Another significant event of 2006 was a little DJ called David Guetta breaking into the mainstream with a mash up of his minor hit 'Love don't let Me Go' with another song, 'Walking Away', that led to a top 3 smash in Britain. 

This is also when EDM started to break the US charts, and by 2009 the Black Eyed Peas had cemented it as a chart powerhouse with 'I Gotta Feeling' (Which was produced by Guetta) and 'Boom Boom Pow'. So now we can finally start to look at my problems with EDM.

1. They all sound the same

Firstly, is it just me or do all EDM songs use the exact same instrumental effects every time? Think of how many songs currently on radio rotation use the 'handclap' or 'Click' effects as percussion. Plus many EDM artists use the same sounds in almost every song they release. Try telling one Kygo drop from another - it's pretty difficult. Obviously, in every genre there are artists who will follow the trends, but in EDM it seems like nobody isn't following them, making a whole load of very similar sounding music.

2. They lack personality (i. 'Trademark sounds')

One of my absolute favourite genres is synthpop, which has some qualities very similar to EDM. As you would expect they both have a heavy reliance on synths and artificial instrumentation. However, comparing these genres brings up my next problem - the lack of personality most EDM has. Very few producers actually sing on their creations instead relying on trademark sounds for any kind of recognition. Unfortunately the problem is that since so many big DJs seem to move to whatever's popular 'Trademark sounds' are quickly tossed away. Look at what happened to DJ snake, where his signature pitch shifting vocal-melding drops were quickly watered down to the point where two songs in the UK top 10 currently use them. 

2. They lack personality (ii. Guest artists)

Even worse than this lack of personality is the over-use of guest vocalists. For me, the mark of a good EDM song is if it can stand on it's own without vocals - think 'Levels' by Avicii or 'Animals' by Martin Garrix. However, most EDM artists insist on shoving a guest vocalist onto every single they released, lots of the time seemingly for guaranteed success rather than because the artist fits the song. For example, I see no reason why Justin Beiber is on 'Let me love you' by DJ Snake, his voice actively drains energy from the song. Compare this with 'Turn down for What', where Lil Jon is pretty much perfect for the song. It whiffs of selling-out.

Despite having the choice of most singers working today, most charting EDM seems to throw about singers who all sound very similar. At this point I've heard so many husky-voiced women and whimpering European men behind identical sounding instrumentals that they tend to bore me - even if the instrumental is banging. 

3. Worthless lyrics

Because so much popular EDM is written to be sung by another artist the lyrics tend to fall into three very wide categories: Partying, Love and Heartbreak. Out of these 3 only partying is explored in any kind of depth and even then... it's partying, it's on of the least deep things in existence. Most pop music is about Love and Heartbreak, but lots of it also goes further than 'I'm really sad', which is where most EDM draws the line. When people point out that songs on the radio aren't about anything, EDM is the main reason why. 

4. Drops are getting less and less listenable

As EDM slowly runs out of ideas for different drops, they seem to get worse and worse. The current trend is pitch shifting in the drop (As mentioned earlier) which is starting to become unbearable. The first case I heard of this on the radio was 'Runaway (U + I)' by Galantis which was ear-splittingly high pitched to the point that it actually gave me several headaches. Apparently the song appealed to enough people to make it a huge top 5 hit and the song has led to a large amount of imitators. Right now, 'Starving', 'Sexual' by NEIKED and 'In the Name of Love' by Martin Garrix all have electronic screams mirroring the vocal line of the pre-drop that make me turn off the radio. 

The other kind of drops are percussive, empty sounding drops that have no melody and sound downright bad. This kind of drop has fewer hits to it's name - it seems like even the public's got tired of it by now - But still songs like 'Be right there' by Diplo and Sleepy Tom and 'Where are U now' by Skrillex and Diplo have these ugly drops, I think trying to simulate 'Animals' by Martin Garrix which had an  incredible percussive drop. 

5. Overexposure

This happens to most popular genres at some point, but EDM has constantly been overexposed for years now. I really got into music at the start of 2011, just before 'Party Rock Anthem' made the drop massively popular once again, meaning that so far I haven't passed a year where EDM has had a large chunk of the chart - especially since I live in the UK where it's much easier for EDM to crossover. I'm so burnt out on EDM that I no longer listen to top 40 radio. Most genres that spend this long in the limelight burnt out quickly (Think of the pop-punk crazes in 2000 and 2005-6), but EDM has been lodged in our ears for over 5 years now and has barely changed in that time. 

The newest colour of EDM is tropical house which is easily the most bland sounding EDM yet, hence why it's been embraced by the blandest pop artists (Justin Bieber, Sia, Maroon 5). As Rap, R&B and Rock continue to produce great albums every month, EDM is dawdling along, having incredible success but very little impact on anything other than the artists nobody cared about in the first place.

Nonetheless, I challenge you to make your own opinion of EDM - music is very subjective after all - so here is the most recent (as of writing) Billboard top 50 for dance and EDM (Although I definitely wouldn't call some of the stuff on here EDM). It has a few great songs (Flume, Kunes and Clean Bandit for example) but the rest is pretty much what I've described. Here you go:

Weezer - White album review

So We've finally reached the most recent album in Weezer's discography - their tenth overall and fourth self-titled, the 'White album'. Released on April 1st 2016, it was created after the band's manager suggested making a beach album and the final piece is obviously inspired by the Beach Boys, as well as by 90s Weezer. But does it carry on the streak of good albums after 'Everything will be Alright in the End' in 2014?

Yes it does, and does it with the most cohesive, catchy and fun album since 'Blue'. The LP starts off with 'California Kids', a fantastic opener with great guitar work and an explosive hook. 'Wind our Sail' is more of the same, but is even more innocent and fun that 'California Kids', with lyrics referencing a bunch of scientists and experiments.

'Thank God for Girls' was panned by many fans on release, but I feel like, as this was the first single, everyone was on edge about whether 'EWBAITE' had been a fluke or if the band had finally got themselves together. 'Girls' is like few other Weezer songs, with piano led verses, no final chorus and far more panicky sounding than we've heard for a while. The best thing I find about the song is what many fans hated - the lyrics. Finally, Cuomo is writing quirky, creative lyrics dripping with imagery ("I'm like an Indian Fakir tryna meditate on a bed of nails with my pants pulled down"). Plus, the lyric video is either the best or worst thing ever depending n how much you like cannolis.

'(Girl we got a) Good Thing' is the sunniest song on 'White', and is the most obviously inspired by the Beach Boys, both combining to give the song an incredibly strong atmosphere of walking down a California beach. 'Do You Wanna Get High' has an equally strong atmosphere, but one of a claustrophobic smoky room. The song sounds as if it came from a weird period between 'Blue' and 'Pinkerton', and is apocalyptic, trippy and funny all at the same time.

The next single off 'White' is 'King of the World', a personal song that Cuomo wrote to his wife that reaches the same sweet spot 'Blue' had so that the song is both detailed enough to be personal and vague enough to be relatable. Track 7 is 'Summer Elaine and Drunk Dori' which despite having a 'Raditude' sounding title is another great summer tune with a soaring chorus and Radiohead reference to boot.

'L.A. Girlz' is the best song on the album, with unexpectedly great lyrics, verses that hit with the power of a chorus and a chorus that sounds like the best thing ever. Even better is the falsetto bridge leading into the best guitar solo on the album, which is arguably the highlight of the whole disc. 'Jacked up' manages to be the most disturbing beach song ever, with Cuomo straining his falsetto to it's max in the chorus and the whole song drenched in staccato piano chords.

The album goes out with 'Endless Bummer', a momentous, building story of one boy's heartbreak at the beach that the whole album has been hinting towards. It's the best acoustic guitar balled since 'Butterfly', and ends with another amazing solo that gives 'L.A. Girlz' a run for it's money. So that's the White album, a bouncy, sunshine filled album that is in my opinion even better than 'EWBAITE' - I love every song and it's easily on the same level as 'Blue' for me, so I can do nothing but give Weezer's tenth LP an appropriate
10/10

Weezer - Everything will be Alright in the End review

'Everything will be Alright in the End' is the album that got me into Weezer. I had heard of the band through 'Beverly Hills' and 'Buddy Holly' and so when, in early 2015, I saw this song land on a bunch of 'Best album of the year' lists I decided to check it out - and now I've reviewed nearly all of their discography so it obviously did it's job. The album was released in October 2014, four years after 'Hurley', a massive break by Weezer's standards - and it appears that the break did Rivers Cuomo, Brian Bell, Patrick Wilson and Scott Shriner a lot of good. Because 'EWBAITE' is easily the best Weezer album since the 90s.

It starts off with the anthemic 'Ain't got nobody', one of the best album openers in all of Weezer's discography and it even has what Weezer had sorely been missing for several albums - Guitar solos! 'Back to the Shack' is a much appreciated apology for the likes of 'Raditude', that still manages to rock out and even has a cool music video set on the moon. Next, 'Eulogy for a rock band' carries on the run of great songs, with lyrics paying homage to the greats of rock, showing the band once again reminding themselves that they are a ROCK BAND and not popstars who put Lil Wayne on their tracks. 

'Lonely Girl' is the best song thus far, with a non-creepy song about girls that's extremely refreshing, as it was beginning to become unbearable. It's also the most 'Blue album' sounding song on the album. 'I've had it up to here' is an outstanding tune about Cuomo's anger at fans rejecting all of his experiments over the past decade, while finally admitting that he was trying to appeal to the masses maybe a tad too much. Nonetheless, the soaring falsetto in the chorus and the crunchy guitars locking perfectly with the backing vocals. 

'The British are Coming' is quite jarring in lyrical terms - a historical account of events in the American Revolutionary War - but is awesome nonetheless. 'Da Vinci' and 'Go Away' are my least favourite songs off the record, but are still pretty great. 'Da Vinci' suffers from whistling and some pop culture references that will age pretty poorly. 'Go Away' has the opposite, with overly simple lyrics about a break-up, but it is great to hear a female voice on a Weezer song - provided by Bethany Cosentino from Best Coast - and both songs do a good job of carrying momentum.

Then the album hits another soaring high with 'Cleopatra', a song with amazing guitar licks sprinkled throughout and the best bridge of any Weezer song in a decade. It's hard to believe Weezer could top this, but they do! 'Foolish Father' starts off dark and brooding, before the chorus has an apologetic tone and the outro has an uplifting choir sending us off with the title and message of the album - 'Everything will be Alright in the End'. This is all held together by the main lyrics of the track, which act as a thematic bookend to 'Say it Ain't So' and show Cuomo finally realising what his father went through due to the experiences he's had himself.

And so the album end- Huh? What are these three songs tacked onto the end? That would be 'The Futurescope Trilogy', a group of two instrumentals built around the central piece 'Anonymous'. They have no reason to be on the disc, but I'm so glad that they are. It's like Weezer making up for all those years with basic 4 chord pop songs with 4 minutes of pure guitar, bass and drum perfection and arguably the most anthemic song on all of 'EWBAITE' sandwiched between them. When Weezer come back after a so many mediocre albums and end their comeback album with the most incredible closer of any album released the entire year, you know they haven't just returned - they've returned better than anyone could have ever predicted.

9.5/10

Weezer - Hurley review

In 2010 Weezer were a wreck. They had lost all but their most loyal fans after the horror of 'Raditude', and had been dropped by their label. This makes 'Hurley' a really weird album, because instead of having some breakdown Weezer quietly passed out their best album since 2002 and barely anyone noticed. 

The lead single didn't do the album any favours - it's not great. The chorus is good and all but spoken/shouted lyrics about "Dutch kids who vomit then have sex" are a bit creepy. Luckily tracks 2 and 3 are great. 'Ruling me' is like no other Weezer song in existence before it but is catchy and everything you would want. Then 'Trainwrecks' is very similar in sound and feel, but builds and climaxes like few other Weezer tracks do, making it the best song on the disc.

'Unspoken' is another great song that sounds like very little Weezer has done before and the first 'angry' Weezer song to actually land any impact for a very long time. 'Hang on' is almost euphoric in it's backing vocals until at about 2 minutes the song becomes desperately sad and does it all with the not-quite-typical feel most of 'Hurley' has. Sandwiched between these songs is the infamous 'Where's my Sex' which is pretty much a novelty single that is mildly annoying before you get the joke and mildly pleasing after you get it.

'Hang on' is another atypical but great song, which also has Michael Cera on backing vocals,before 'Smart Girls' unfortunately packs itself into the category of 'Slightly creepy songs Cuomo's written about girls', but nonetheless has a nice instrumentals. I realise I've neglected to mention the music of Hurley so far, and although it varies slightly it is on the whole more edgy and raw than 'Raditude' (Although a 'Take That' album is more raw than 'Raditude') and feels more Weezer-y than any album since 'Maladroit', although there's much more palm muting this time round.

'Brave New World' is alright, but fails to really stand out. The album closes with 'Time Flies' which has extremely lo-fi production giving the song an old VHS feel that acts as a nice link to 'Memories' as they both tackle nostalgia in different ways. Overall, 'Hurley' is like no Weezer album before or after it and has ended up being their most underrated album.
8/10

Weezer - Raditude review

Ah 'Raditude'... What can I say? I kind of love this album but only because of how unbelievably bad it is. If 'Make Believe' is an unbearable Adam Sandler comedy, 'Raditude' is The Room by Tommy Wiseau. Hopefully you'll see what I mean by the end of the review. But anyway, backstory: It was November 2009, only a year and a few months after 'Red' was released and Weezer were already coming up with a new album. Short album cycles tend to go one way or the other, and Raditude went the other about as far as it could go. The album was panned, most critics giving it either a negative or mixed review. But how bad really is 'Raditude'?

It starts off OK, with '(If you're wondering if I want you to) I want you to', a storytelling exercise that suffers from stale instrumentation but is otherwise nice enough, especially for this album. Then things start getting bad. Every flaw with 'I'm your Daddy' is immediately obvious from the title (Bear in mind Cuomo was 39 when this was released.) and the creepiness is continued onto track 3, 'The girl got hot' a song about a girl getting hot, complete with 'wo-oh'ing backing vocals for maximum marketability.

The obvious attempt at getting as much airplay as possible is I think what irks so many people about 'Raditude', and this comes to a peak in what quite a few Weezer fans consider as the all time worst Weezer song, 'Can't stop Partying'. It's very easy to see why, it's the definition of selling out with completely artificial instrumentation and typical lyrics about 'Going to da club, getting girls and drinking till ya can't see straight no more', all of which is topped with a - and this really happened - Lil Wayne guest verse. WHY IS LIL WAYNE ON A WEEZER SONG?! 

'Put me back Together' is a 'Make Believe'-esque faintly interesting slow song and 'Love is the answer' is a genuinely decent 'Within you Without you' cover Weezer-ed up a bit. 'Let it all Hang out' is a bro-friendly douchey song in the same vein as 'Can't stop Partying'. Then the album hits rock-bottom a second time with 'In the Mall', written by Patrick Wilson. With ingenious lyrics such as "First we smoke, then have a smoke". Once again loads of fans consider it Weezer's worst ever song and once again it's not hard to see why.

The album ends with the dull 'I don't want to let you go' (On Streaming websites it ends even worse with the strangely uncomfortable and sloppy 'Turn me Round'). So the album is terrible yes, and there's no way I could give it a positive review, but since Weezer seems to actually be good again, we can look back on Raditude as an intriguing and at some points hilariously bad vision of what Weezer could have been if they'd continued chasing pop success and piling on inappropriate co-writers (Only 2 songs on the album are written solo by Cuomo). Luckily, once you hit the bottom things can only get better - although that's little consolation to 'Raditude'

2/10

Weezer - Red Album review

Weezer's third self titled album, or 'The Red album' is the most inconsistent Weezer album of them all. Some of their all time best songs mix with some of their worst. Although after 'Make Believe' this is a pleasant surprise. Released in 2008, 'Red' is unique because of two notable aspects - having some songs with unconventional structures, which is very rare for Weezer, and because three of the songs are written and sung by Brian Bell, Patrick Wilson and Scott Shriner, e.g The other members of Weezer.

The album starts off very poorly, with 'Troublemaker' having many of Weezer's worst ever lyrics - "Marrying a beeyatch, having seven keeyads" is a particular highlight" - but the song seems to have the self-awareness that 'Make Believe' lacked, meaning that while it's bad it's not unforgivable. Then we get to the all time most insane Weezer song, 'The Greatest Man That ever Lived (Variations on a Shaker Hymn)'.

The song has about 10 different styles and sections which it switches through so quickly that it's kind of amazing. My particular favourite bit has got to be Cuomo's Queen-inspired falsetto. The lyrics on this are so cringingly that they circle round to being amazing ("I'm like a mage with a magic spell, you come like a dog when I ring your bell") and it's one of my all time favourite Weezer songs. 

From there we get 'Pork and Beans' which is a hellish fusion of 90s and 2000s Weezer and is one of their better big chart hits. 'Heart Songs' and 'Dreamin'' are both like good versions of the unbearable slower songs on 'Make Believe' and sandwiched between them is 'Everybody get dangerous' which sounds like Weezer trying to cover 'Can't stop' by the Red Hot Chili Peppers and getting it a bit off.

Then there's the triplet of songs written by the other members of Weezer and they're all decent. Brian Bell is first with 'Thought I knew'. The songs fine, but it doesn't really feel like a Weezer tune, with none of their trademarks being present. This is combatted a bit in 'Cold Dark World', which contains bad-but-in-a-charming-way spoken word verses from Scott Shriner, while the chorus and bridge are sung by Cuomo. Unfortunately the song is a tat, but it's still interesting due to Shriner's presence. Finally theres 'Automatic' by Patrick Wilson, which is a sweet song about his friends and family, and is my favourite of the three. It sounds recognisably Weezer and Patrick sounds as if he's really enjoying the chance to finally create his own song.

The closing track of 'Red' is easily the best song on the album, as well as one of best Weezer songs, maybe the best they released in the 2000s - 'The Angel and The One'. Now this is how you do a slow Weezer song! The song builds up and has multiple climaxes, each bigger than the last. It's one of the saddest Weezer songs in existence yet manages to also be incredibly uplifting. It also has incredible lyrics, which, as you've probably picked up, is quite a rarity in this period. By the time the vocals start chanting "Peace Shalom" you have chills down your spine.

Overall, 'The Red album' is more good than bad and other than several pretty bad songs and the weirdness of the band member songs, it's a decent album - which is more than can be said of what came next...

6/10