I'm yet to have indulged on my love of Radiohead on this blog, and I really need to get back into the habit of posting stuff I actually enjoy instead of complaining about Royal Blood. So without further ado, here is my attempt to rank all 12 songs on Radiohead's 1995 album 'The Bends'. (List is based on personal enjoyment, so keep that in mind).
12. Bullet Proof... I wish I was
Something has to be last place, and while it's by no means a bad song, 'bullet proof...' is easily the most passable effort on the album. It's a minimalist, hazy acoustic number, and after 'High and dry', 'Fake Plastic Trees' and '(Nice dream)' it wasn't really necessary for another. It also breaks the flow of more upbeat numbers, stopping them having a greater cumulative effect. It's still better than nearly everything on 'Pablo Honey' though.
11. High and Dry
Radiohead is generally a bleak band (Other than 'In Rainbows' and 'the King of Limbs'), and this is possibly their most popular bleak song. It's also one of my personal least favourite Radiohead creations, even though I still think it's good by alt-rock standards. It's a very calm, almost sleepy song that sounds utterly defeated. The problem with that, at least for me, is that Radiohead have made much, much better songs that fulfil the exact same qualities, namely 'No Surprises' and even 'Fake Plastic Trees' just a track later - which might be my biggest problem, as it also makes this stretch of the album feel dreary and unending.
10. Black Star
A fairly enjoyable alt-rock song that has been massively overshadowed recently by the David Bowie album of the same name. The best aspect is probably the unbelievably catchy post-chorus riff that strangely enough sounds like something from 'The Rise and fall of Ziggy Stardust'.
9. The Bends
Easily the most upbeat song on the album, and also arguably the most rock-radio-friendly song here (Despite the fact it was never one of the albums 6 singles.). Despite - or maybe because of - it's fairly dated 90s rock aesthetic, it has a surprisingly large amount of fans, and I personally know two people who hold it as their favourite Radiohead song. Perhaps this is because it's immediately catchy and doesn't contain most of qualities that non-fans usually attack Radiohead for - the sadness and slow-pace of the songs, and the 'whininess' of Yorke's voice. It's also one of the few Radiohead songs where the lyrics suggest a positive relationship with a woman (At least until 'In Rainbows'), so maybe people appreciate that too?
8. Bones
If we're looking at upbeat alt-rock numbers from the album, 'Bones' is IMO a far greater experience than 'The Bends'. The song is positively roaring for it's 3 minute run-time, and the chorus is one of the biggest ear-worms on the album. It's also a notable wake-up after the (Brilliant) dreariness of 'Fake Plastic Trees', and doesn't stick around long enough for it's melodrama or repetition to become annoying.
7. (Nice dream)
This song can tend to feel like an interlude to me, mainly thanks to the parenthesis given to it's title, but it's one of Radiohead's prettiest tunes, with calming strings on the chorus and Thom Yorke giving one of his most minor performances, at least until the song explodes at 2 and a half minutes into a tone-ruining but awesome breakdown of screaming guitars.
6. Sulk
This song has risen above at least two others simply through the power of the way Yorke sings 'Sometimes you SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUlk' in the chorus of this song, which is also one of the most uplifting, although not necessarily upbeat Radiohead songs. The breakdown even reminds me a bit of the first Foo Fighter's album, which is no bad thing. The first classic song here.
5. My Iron Lung
The meaty bass on this immediately gives it an uncomfortable chugging rhythm like a strained heartbeat that fits well with the lyrics about failing body parts. The song is a response to 'Creep', and as such borrows the same smoky, nocturnal atmosphere, and improves on it vastly with a 'chorus' that is essentially a freak out of screaming guitar and screaming Yorke. The 'If you're frightened' bridge is also one of the most-attention grabbing moments on the album. Overall, it's a great piece of music, and I'm surprised it doesn't get brought up more than it does.
4. Planet Telex
The track that opens your album is the most important for world-building, and Radiohead realised this for the first time with 'Planet Telex', a song which feels distinctly otherworldly thanks to the howl of wind at the beginning and then the tremolo guitar line which goes atomic once the vocals begin. It sets up the lyrical themes of the album through the chorus of 'Everything/everyone is broken', and in all is the first sign that Radiohead could produce a killer opening track (See also: 'Everything in it's Right Place', '2+2=5', '15 Step' and of course 'Airbag').
3. Just
My favourite of the more alt-rock leaning songs on the album, this has everything you could want - memorable lyrics, one of the best music videos of all-time, a cool chord sequence and of course completely insane solos. I also love the way the song plays with atmosphere, feeling at once catchy and upbeat, but also feeling like something horrible is happening, helped by Yorke's saliva-drenched delivery of the final chorus and the weirdly unsettling breakdown.
2. Fake Plastic Trees
This is maybe Radiohead's all-time most depressing song, at least for the first 2 and a half minutes, and perhaps because of this it took a long time to grow on me. I was initially turned off by just how downtrodden it is, especially coming right after 'High and Dry', but all it took was a single deep listen on a long bus ride and everything came together. The climax is perfect, a crescendo of despair, almost anger so strong that when the song recedes back to the acoustic sound of the first half you really do feel as 'worn out' as Thom sounds. The lyrics are also some of the best on any song in the 90s, creating an ultra-depressing world version of the world where everyone is old and decaying, yet still obsessed with looking shiny and perfect.
1. Street Spirit
Whenever Halloween rolls around the same goofy songs come up that relate to the event through having the name of some horror movie cliche in the title ('Monster' by the automatic) or by having a spooky video ('Thriller'). But if you want to soundtrack your Halloween with a legitimately unsettling, spine-chilling playlist, just listen to 'Street Spirit (Fade Out)'. Strangely this was the first Radiohead song I ever heard, and I initially avoided it due to how unsettling it was straight from the intro, where greenwood's guitar sounds like a strange piano leading the listener down the steps of a never ending spiral staircase. Then the lyrics begin and you're transported onto a dark suburban street, which starts pouring with rain when the drums begin. Apologies for the pretentious description, but that is what I picture when I listen to this masterpiece. It also works incredibly well as an album closer, maybe as their best album closer (Which is saying something.), because it serves as the most complete realisation of the album's themes of paranoia and loneliness.
As a London-based rock fan, I'm sad to see rock in the UK and the rest of the world decline in popularity to a level it hasn't reached since the 60s saw guitar rock become popular, but at the same time I understand why rock has gone from a worldwide phenomenon to almost a niche genre when compared to hip-hop or Electronic Dance Music (EDM). It's never played on top 40 radio without a remix that adds a drop and artificial drums, and the only bands that even stand a chance of having a hit are bands that broke-though in the 90s or early 2000s. While there are a multitude of reasons for this, I will try to demonstrate what I think the major problem is in the UK specifically: The newest crop of bands aren't particularly good.
No before I start this analysis I'd like to point out that there are soe really great British bands right now - Everything Everything springs to mind first, because I'm listening to their great new album as I write this, Creeper is a brilliantly over-the-top goth rock band and IDLES are a super-gritty punk band with bleakly humorous lyrics, to name bands that have put out albums this year. Now onto the offenders:
The offending bands Royal Blood
Where better to start this than with the band who have been touted as 'The saviors of rock' by seemingly every music publication and website in the UK. This band gets me irrationally angry whenever they're mentioned, partly because of how annoying it is that such a bland band could be touted as the saviours of something as prestigious and creative as rock, and partly because I'm constantly surrounded by their fans. I don't mind anybody liking anything, but when all you talk about and all you play is Royal Blood, it gets annoying quickly.
Royal Blood is rock music for people who don't actually listen to much rock music from my experience, as everyone I know that listens to them only likes one or two other bands, usually the arctic monkeys. The lyrics are either meaningless or are shouted into your eardrums so often that they become meaningless. The music consists of a horrible guitar (which is a bass that's been put an octave up, hence why even the short solos never really get off the ground.) and some good drumming, so while I don't like them they're not 'bad' as such. Hell, if I hear one of their songs on the radio I usually enjoy it. the problem is that all of their songs sound exactly the same.
I challenge anybody that has no experience with the band to go on Youtube and randomly play a bunch of their music videos and then try and say which songs were off their first album and which were on their second. Spoiler alert, it's difficult. Since they only have one song that they keep remaking their albums are impossible for me to sit through. After two or three songs it just starts giving me a headache, since the experience is pretty much just listening to endless early Queens Of The Stone Age choruses smashed together with nothing in between. Most disturbing is the similarity Royal Blood has with Death From Above (formerly Death From Above 1979), who sound exactly the same but with American accents rather than British Accents.
So, what do these guys have to do with the state of British rock? Well, they're arguably the most popular new British band right now. No matter what you thought of Oasis, Blur, The Arctic Monkeys, The Libertines, Coldplay (yes, even Coldplay), Radiohead and Muse, they all had periods where they were releasing great material - some of them still are - and yet here Royal Blood are, becoming the kings of british rock are making two identical and similarly bad albums. I would even go as far as saying that the only reason they're as popular as they are is because they sound the way people think rock should sound, so when it's played on the radio young people will latch onto it for it's energy and their parents will be reminded of much better bands like The White Stripes and the aforementioned Queens of The Stone age, who Royal Blood seemed to have been inspired by.
All of this results in a band which has no lyrical or musical depth, no real controversty and sounds very similar to a lot of better music. When rock that sounds this much like itself I can't see any new rock fans being made out of say, teenagers who have largely adopted hip-hop instead, because it's actually controversial. When Skepta dropped 'Konniciwa' in 2016 it was all I heard walking through London for weeks, and it was all that the music press seemed to be discussing. When Royal Blood dropped 'How Did We Get So Dark?' this year, nobody really seemed to care. And these guys are supposed to be the saviors of rock.
I realise that I'm a month late on making a mid-year album list, but that's essentially what this is, and as such no albums from July 1st onwards are included here. With that disclaimer out of the way, I would like to say that 2017 has so far been an alright year for albums, albeit one also filled with some substantial musical disappointments ('Humanz' by Gorillaz, for example.), and while I'm yet to find an album I fully connect with, some great material has still been released. Keep in mind that this list is just my opinion, and that I haven't heard every album that came out in the first half of this year, and with that lets get n with my top 15 albums of the year so far!
15/14. King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard - Murder Of The Universe/ Flying Microtonal Banana
King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard are supposedly attempting to release a total of 4 to 5 albums this year, and although this initially had me worried that we would be flooded with mediocre, hastily created songs, the two albums released so far are both brimming with crazy, unique ideas. While neither album is perfect - The songs on 'FMB', while all great do blend into each other a bit, and 'MOTU' has an excessive amount of interludes, but if the rest of this years projects are of this quality, by the end of the year King Gizz will surely have gained even more attention than they already have.
13. Mac DeMarco - This Old Dog
This was one of my most anticipated albums of the year, as a fairly big fan of DeMarco, and 'This Old Dog' lived up to every expectation I had had of it. It's chilled out, slightly downbeat and has a number of great songs that flick between psychedelic synth-led pieces like 'On The Level' and guitar ballads like 'One Another'.
12. Kendrick Lamar - DAMN.
It feels to wrong to say this in a celebratory review, but I can't help but feel like 'DAMN.' is a little overrated, and is inferior to 'To Pimp A Butterfly' and 'Good Kid M.A.A.D City', but then again most albums are. But while I may find 'LOVE.' to be one of Kendrick's weakest songs and some cuts like 'FEEL.' and 'GOD.' to be instubsantial, the rest of the album is, as you would expect, amazing. From the lyrics of 'LUST.' and 'FEAR.' to the incredible beats on 'DNA.', to the earworm choruses of 'ELEMENT.' and the mega-hit 'HUMBLE.', this is an album which deserves the huge amount of commercial success it's gained.
11. Creeper - Eternity In Your Arms
I've had a lot of flip-flopping on my opinion of this album. It's the kind of project I would love to hate on, with an image that reeks of edginess and of the excesses of goth-rock, mixed with pop-punk attitude, but alas, the more I played this the more I had to admit to myself that I loved it. The meat-loaf esque vocals and melodramatic choruses were just what I needed in a year with largely mellow singer-songwriter albums dominating my playlists. If you think it's too edgy, or adolescent then I don't blame you - although only if you can make it though 'Misery' without cracking a half-smile.
10. Brockhampton - SATURATION It seems like everyone has agreed that so far 2017 hasn't been a great year for hip-hop with the exception of 'DAMN.', but for those who weren't expecting Future's double album to be a their AOTY, there was a lot of good stuff be found, specifically 'Saturation'. Combining bars that are both hilarious and depressing ('STAR') with inescapable hooks, ('GOLD') this is likely going to be one of the best hip-hop projects of the year.
9. Sandy (Alex G) - Rocket Another album I flip-flopped on, although unlike 'Creeper' I still haven't fully decided the extent to which I like this album, but for now I can certainly say that I love a lot of the songs. 'Bobby', 'Proud', 'Powerful Man ' and even 'Sportstar' have all become some of my favourite tunes of the year, and now I'm just waiting to see if the weirder corners of the album will come together or not - so this album could be higher or lower come December.
8. Sampha - Process
This is the album I want to win the Mercury award this year. It's refreshing to find a debut album that tackles so many different ideas and succeeds at all of them, giving Sampha a song which already feels like a classic with '(No One Knows Me) Like The Piano' and some others - 'Blood On Me', 'Plastic 100 degrees C' - which seem destined to become future hits. If Stormzy beats this I will be very annoyed.
7. Remo Drive - Greatest Hits I hadn't heard of this band before they had already released 'Greatest Hits' (Which isn't actually a Greatest hits album, for clarification.), but it is so far my favourite rock album of the year. The album is charmingly lo-fi, with every brittle guitar and slightly out-of-time drum beat makes it seem as flawed and human as the lyrical themes. It also helps that tunes like 'Art School' and 'Yer Killin' Me' are simply some of the best songs I've heard this year.
6. Jens Lekman - Life Will See You Now Probably the most upbeat, happiest album I've enjoyed this year, this is what I wish more pop music sounded like. It's lush, filled with sunshine, yet doesn't compromise on the lyrics, which are some of the strongest aspects of this album. Songs like 'Evening Prayer' with it's "Doo-doo doo do doo do" chorus wouldn't have been filled with lyrics about a cancer survivor in the hands of a lesser artist, but not only does it give the song gravitas, but it doesn't detract from the cheerful mood. It's a shame the cover is so rank.
5. The Magnetic Fields - 50 Song Memoir Most artists probably couldn't make an album that's 50 songs long, but when it comes to Stephin Merritt it's nothing compared to his classic '69 Love Songs' triple-LP. '50 Song Memoir' is an album that feels effortless to listen to despite it's length because it's core concept is so intriguing, that each song represents one year in Merritt's life up to age 50. It also makes the album immensely satisfying to listen to, especially the first 20 songs which chart his early childhood and teenage experiences. The music also uses a huge variety of instruments to sum up each year's mood with a nostalgic soundscape.
4. Mount Eerie - A Crow Looked At Me Easily the most depressing album I've heard this year, this is almost painful to listen to due to the intimacy of the songs combined with the subject matter. I haven't felt as emotionally affected by an album like this ever before, not even by 'Skeleton Tree' by Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds last year, which was somewhat similar in tone. If you listen to music purely for emotion, this may well be your album of the year, and it may even end up as mine if I can bring myself to listen to it again.
3. Run The Jewels - RTJ 3 Technically this was released on Christmas day 2016, but it was released in physical form in 2017, and either way it would be a travesty if this were to miss my albums list on such an obscurity technicality. Other than being an amazing gift that I don't think anyone was expecting on December 25th, this is an outstanding end to what is surely the best trilogy in rap history. While it may be slightly inferior to my 2014 AOTY RTJ 2, it is still a major leap forward for Killer Mike and El-P, with more political lyrics that will make you want to start a revolution ('Don't Get Captured', 'Kill Your Masters') mixed with flex anthems that make you feel awesome whenever you play them ('Legend Has It', 'Stay Gold'). And it's free on their website!
2. Father John Misty - Pure Comedy Loads of people don't like this album, and I can see why. Hell, I was massively disappointed for the first few days after it came out, before I started to focus on the lyrics rather than any of the other aspects. Only then is the genius of 'Pure Comedy' unleashed. It's purposely the complete antithesis to the instant gratification of modern life, with Josh Tillman highlighting this with 13-minute behemoth 'Leaving L.A', itself seemingly a weapon to be wielded at those not willing to truly appreciate his work. The concepts behind nearly every song are equally ingenious, looking at the last moments of a self-righteous internet warrior and an imaginary confrontation with God. It's a shame that the detachment and sarcasm of this album have led to many giving the LP the label of 'pretentious', because those are the features that make it so great.
1. Lorde - Melodrama This was actually my number 2 until I re-listened to all of these albums for this list, but I can now put it no lower than number one. It's the kind of album that I feel will not only be seen in many years time as a great summation of the 2017 music scene, but will be enjoyed as a great album. There isn't a single weak track on this thing, and every other track is a standalone masterpiece, so when taken in all at once it's incredibly powerful. 'Supercut', 'Green Light', 'Homemade Dynamite', 'The Louvre', 'Liability' and especially 'Writer in the dark' are all highlights, and with any luck this will be my generation's break-up album of choice.
No pop songs have struck me enough to review over the past few weeks, and after getting bored of waiting, I've decided to just review what's popular. The easiest way to do this is of course to look at the Billboard top 10, presenting the 10 most popular songs in the US aggregated from radio plays, streaming, sales, YouTube views and probably some other stuff too. The chart in question is for the 'Billboard week June 24th', in case you are reading this far into the future and want to find the date when songs from the best and worst reviewed albums of the year were sitting together in the top 10.
10. Post Malone ft. Quavo - Congratulations
I used to be indifferent to Post Malone, I saw 'White Iverson' as a bland (rap?) anthem and couldn't be bothered to get angry about his 'cultural appropriation'. With 'Congratulations' nothing has changed. The song is marginally better than 'White Iverson' because it actually has a proper hook, but I'm still not gonna remember this in a few months. Plus, having a Quavo feature automatically ducks a point. 4/10 9. Zedd ft. Alessia Cara - Stay
I'll fully admit to never before having heard this song, but having now heard it several times, i can say it's actually decent, and better than I was expecting. I've never loved a song by Zedd or Alessia Cara before, and this is easily the best I've heard from either of them. It doesn't have any of the boring or irritating cliches of modern EDM, with no obsessive squealy noises and a tasteful drop that actually sounds good. 8/10 8. Two white guys ft. Coldplay - Something Just Like This
Coming from The Chainsmokers' aptly titled 'Memories... Do Not Open' (The lowest scoring album of the year so far on Metacritic.) album, this is nonetheless an alright song, albeit one I can't imagine anyone ever choosing to actually listen. Chris Martin's voice is enjoyable as ever, and the lyrics are actually decent, especially compared to nearly every other chainsmokers' song. The Chainsmokers are the ones who end up ruining this song though, with their super basic, ultra bland drop killing any creativity or energy the tune may have otherwise had. 5/10 7. Lil Uzi Vert - XO TOUR Llif3
I'm still not sure whether this is a great song or a terrible song, but I'm leaning toward great. I've never had anything other than indifference for Lil Uzi Vert, his image being more interesting than his music for the most part. I'm aware that the verses on this song contradict the utterly depressed lyrics of the two prominent hooks, but those hooks. "I DONT REALLY CARE IF YOU CRY-IIII" should not be as enjoyable to shout as it is, and neither should "All my friends are dead, push me to the edge", but somehow XO TOUR Llif3 manages to transcend the dark lyrics into a banger - hence why it's charted so high on Billboard despite having an indecipherable song title and no proper video. 8/10
6. Future - Mask Off
Err... I like the sample. It's a flute, right? You don't hear much like it in trap. But yeah, I dunno what to say about this. The lyrics are the typical autotuned flexing that has given trap music so many detractors, and the song always makes me feel slightly sleepy with Future's laid-back flow. Overall, I like it but don't think it's incredible. 6/10 5. Kendrick Lamar - HUMBLE.
This is more like it! While I will say that I think 'DAMN.' has been slightly overrated by critics - no matter which way you look at it it's not as good as 'To Pimp A Butterfly' or 'Good Kid, M.A.A.D City', it's still a really great project, and 'HUMBLE.' is one of my favourite songs off it. Every bar is memorable and entertaining, and it's nice to see that Kendrick managed to get a number one that wasn't 'Bad Blood'. The beat is incredible, and it's gonna be one of my songs of the year. 10/10
4. Ed Sheeran - urgh
When 'Shape Of You' first came out I thought it was decent. Now I NEVER WANT TO HEAR IT AGAIN. Never again/10
3. DJ Khaled & Co. - I'm The One
DJ Khaled is undeniably one of the most interesting personalities in music right now, so it seems fulfilling that he's got a number one. It's also nice to see Chance the Rapper get a number one, and he's the best part of this song. Quavo is also suprisingly on-topic, and the beat is lightwieght and summery. Unfortunately, as usual, Justin Bieber's voice grates my eardrums, and as you would expect Lil Wayne ain't good. 5/10 2. Bruno Mars - That's What I Like
It's depressing that this feels like a throwback to a time when pop music was fun, but at the same time, anyone that doesn't enjoy this song probably has no soul. I was initially worried that Mars's brilliant album '24K Magic' would be seen as a flop when 'Versace On The Floor' failed to have much impact, but the pure likability of this song seems to have turned it into one of his biggest hits. The only 'Song of the summer 2017' I want to hear. 9/10
1. Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee ft. Justin Bieber - Despacito
A tale of two songs. I actually enjoy the spanish parts of this song quite a bit, as they sound vastly different from the rest of the top 50 and super-summery. The Justin Bieber parts are what brings it down for me, as once again his voice just annoys me. He was so prominent on the radio last year that I can only ever associate his voice with taking lukewarm showers in my bathroom, as that's the only time I listen to the radio and I ain't listening to Bieber voluntarily. 5/10
Since 1994 Weezer has released 11 studio albums, with a total of 117 songs which range from some of my all-time favourite songs to some of my all-time least favourite. The list only contains songs that have been on the standard editions of Weezer studio albums and doesn't count 'Death to False Metal' because... come on, 117 songs is enough. Obviously this list is just one guy's opinion so don't take it as definitive or anything and with that said, let's take our surfboards to see which Weezer songs run of fuel and which stay afloat... I've updated it to include songs from Pacific Daydream!
The Awful Tier
117. Can't Stop Partying (Raditude)
No Weezer song before or since has been as offensively atrocious as 'Can't Stop Partying', with it's opening distant Millennial whoops, almost completely artificial production that sounds more appropriate for Kidz Bop than Weezer and lyrics that were extremely generic in 2009 and are now a signifier of how far Weezer had come from the nerdy relatability songs like 'In the Garage'. Of course, the worst part of any Weezer song ever is also present on this failure, straight after the second chorus, with Lil Wayne - And I can barely believe this really happened - jumping on the mic and spitting such timeless bars as "OKAY BITCHES WEEZER AND IT'S WEEZY". These days 'Can't Stop Partying' still sets the limit for how low Weezer can go and serves as a sad reminder of the Raditude era.
116. Beverly Hills (Make Believe)
In a cruel twist of fate this song is Weezer's highest charting single in the US. It was also the first Weezer song I ever heard, and let's just say I didn't check them out until I heard Buddy Holly on a compilation album a year later. The song has no energy, it repeats the same 3 chords over and over and over and over until breaking into a nauseatingly bad talkbox guitar solo. The lyrics are hopeless and strangely depressing, and it's success brought on a hit-chasing phase for Weezer that lasted for the next 4 years.
115. Cold Dark World (Red)
I'm all for a minor-scale Weezer song, but having bassist Scott Shriner 'rap' over the verses with lyrical gems such as 'I will protect you, never disrespect you, but if you need love I'll be here to sex you' is too far. The whole song gives off a super-creepy vibe, which would be alright if it didn't sound so accidental, as if this song was meant to be romantic. The chorus also just sounds really bad, so that doesn't help either.
114. In the Mall (Raditude)
That riff! It's not good! It never stops! What are the lyrics about? Nobody knows!
113. Hold Me (Make Believe)
For as much as I hate 'Beverly Hills', I'll admit it's not the main reason I hate 'Make Believe' as an album - it's the huge number of crushingly bland, vague and whiny songs demonstrated on songs such as 'Hold Me'. Sure, it doesn't sound as bad as some of the songs I've put above it, but this song can't even be enjoyed ironically, it's just depressingly boring.
112. The Girl Got Hot (Raditude)
The title of this song alone means I don't need to explain the problems with the lyrics. The bigger problem is how happy Cuomo sounds singing these uncomfortable lyrics, and that the instrumental of the song sounds like something from a bad Scooby-Doo chase scene.
111. We Are All On Drugs (Make Believe)
Another instance of god-awful lyrics backed up by generic, downbeat instrumentation. The video is kinda cool though.
110. I'm Your Daddy (Raditude)
Another instance of the biggest problem with the song being present in the title. The main line of the chorus being "You are my baby tonight, and I'm Your Daddy." Is creepy beyond what I thought possible in a Weezer song. That said, I actually quite like the instrumentation until the bassy breakdown.
109. Pardon Me (Make Believe)
The verses of this song sound fine enough, but as per usual with Make Believe the lyrics are confusingly bad - who wants to hear Cuomo wail for forgiveness for 4 minutes - and when combined with the rest of Make Believe I just want to skip it every time.
108. Tripping Down The Freeway (Raditude)
"You went out with somebody named Kevin Green" - This line doesn't rhyme with anything. It's in the middle of a verse. Why? This is one of many problems with 'Trippin' down The Freeway', which goes from being oddly specific to incredibly vague at the drop of a hat and has guitars that sound like farts.
107. Troublemaker (Red)
The lyrics! I hate to talk about terrible lyrics again, but every couplet in 'Troublemaker' sounds like it was intentionally written from the perspective of a very young child - therefore making lines like "Marrying a beeyaach, having seven keeyaads" and "They will crane their necks, to get a glimpse of me to see if I am having sex" feel out of place. The lyrics in this song are honestly worse than a lot of the songs I've placed lower, but this song is at least partially redeemed by the sing-along of the chorus.
106/105. Haunt You Every Day/ The Damage In Your Heart (Make Believe)
Another two bland, depressing 'Make Believe' cuts.
104. Heart Songs (Red)
'Rivers sings about songs he likes' already doesn't sound great, but making the song into a grey, depressing acoustic guitar ballad is such a strange decision that it can distract you from the fact that Cuomo rips most of the lyrics from way better songs.
103. Let It All Hang Out (Raditude)
Weezer's never been 'cool' in the same way as, say Radiohead or Kendrick Lamar where you could show a non-fan and they'd still be impressed, but 'Let it All Hang Out' is one of the few Weezer songs I would describe as 'Lame'. Cuomo sounds like he's never done anything he's describing in the song and "Vitamin Water, Energy Flavour, Take us to your daughter" means it fulfills the 'Raditude' quota of one-awful-line-per-song.
102. Thought I Knew (Red)
The least Weezer-y Weezer song in existence, with Brian Bell on bitterly sarcastic vocals, this song could have been album filler from any number of unremarkable bands from the past 25 years.
101. My Best Friend (Make Believe)
The verses on this song actually sound pretty great, similar to something from a 2000s Sonic game, but the DUN DUN DUN DUN of the chorus has actually given me a headache on two occasions, and is one of the most horrible sounding moments in Weezer's discography. The lyrics are shite too.
100. Everybody Get Dangerous (Red)
This song sounds like Rivers Cuomo heard 'Can't Stop' by the Red Hot Chili Peppers one time and then tried to recreate it but with lyrics about cows and a refrain that hinges around the exclamation of 'ooh-yah'.
99. Where's My Sex (Hurley)
I love 'Hurley' and think it's unfairly tossed into the same trash pile as 'Make Believe', 'Raditude' and 'Red' too often. I even adore this song, but I can't deny how terrible it is, especially on first listen. With lyrics like "Sex-making is a family tradition" it immediately strikes the listener as some disturbing piece of horror that was never meant to be recorded. The jukebox-smashing-through-the-window-and-smacking-you-in-the-face chorus and Cuomo's weird vocal performance all combine to make an unpleasant experience. Even if you learn that the song is actually about socks and not sex, it's still a bad sounding song about socks.
The Meh Tier (Not much to say about these)
98. Death and Destruction (Maladroit)
This one has the potential to be controversial, as I know a lot of people like this song, but I've always found it a bit boring and whiny. It's more heartfelt than anything off 'Make Believe', but that's not enough to save it from being above a 4/10 for me.
97. I Don't Want To Let You Go (Raditude)
One of the more bearable songs from Raditude, this is an inoffensive and kinda bland end to a usually hilariously bad album.
96. La Mancha Screwjob (Pacific Daydream)
For the most part like this song, but there are several elements that make it my least favourite on the album. The main offenders are the millennial whoop in the chorus that instantly makes the song sound generic, and the weird way Cuomo sings 'Like a Hood-lum', which I can only imagine Cuomo thinks makes him sound cool. The sound effects at the start and end are also maybe the worst 2 seconds on the album. 95. Automatic (Red)
Nothing is necessarily bad about about this song but... "Maybe I should play the lead guitar and Pat should play the drums" wasn't a lyric for nothing.
94. Go Away (EWBAITE)
A strangely childish song on an otherwise refreshingly mature Weezer album, this is one of the Weezer songs I have had no impulse to ever listen to again after my initial listen.
93. Knockdown Dragout (Green)
In the context of 'Green' this song disappears in the summery power-pop mist of the surrounding songs, but when separated it lacks what makes a bunch of these surrounding songs good - a good melody. The awkward, jerky verses and the underdeveloped chorus never develop into anything particularly good.
92. Smart Girls (Hurley)
Similarly to 'Where's My Sex' I adore this song, but once again it has some very evident flaws. It's the most obvious remnant of 'Raditude' on the album, the lyrics are uncomfortable coming from a married Cuomo and drum machines shouldn't be on Weezer songs as a general rule. But every second of this song is so infectiously catchy that I can't bring myself to place it any lower.
91. Love Is The Answer (Raditude)
It's better than most of 'Raditude', but then again so are most Weezer songs.
90. The Other Way (Make Believe)
It's better than most of 'Make Believe' but then again so are most Weezer songs.
89. Happy Hour (Pacific Daydream)
I like this song more for it's meme factor than because of the actual quality of the music. The bridge is great, and the whole song is pretty addictive, but at the end of the day this is a song where the main appeal is Cuomo shouting "COCONUT... COCONUT!!"
88. Beach Boys (Pacific Daydream)
The exact same thing can be said of 'Beach Boys', with it's already infamous "Makin' my eyes get moist" line (in the chorus, no less). The bass might be THICC, but the dreamy production glosses over lots of the quirks that make Weezer great in the first place.
87. Brave New World (Hurley)
This is a perfectly fine Weezer song, but if you haven't realised by now I've reached the small pool of Weezer songs I have basically nothing to say about. Not bad, not great just perfectly passable.
86/85/84. Glorious Day/Simple Pages/I Do (Green)
Yep, still in that pool.
83. Fall Together (Maladroit)
I don't listen to much metal, and if I did I'm not sure if this song would be higher or lower.
82. Freak Me Out (Make Believe)
The instrumentation in this song is really really good - arguably my favourite on 'Make Believe' and is unlike anything Weezer has done before or since. The whole song has a really chilled out, night-time atmosphere which I love - but the lyrics are just bad. It's about a spider right? Man, those were dark times.
81. Peace (Make Believe)
Basically the exact same negatives and positives as 'Freak Me Out'.
80. Feels Like Summer (Pacific Daydream)
Maybe the polar opposite of 'Back to the Shack' in terms of the fanbases' reaction, but not actually that bad. The second verse and chorus are pretty great, with the only major flaw being the incessant NA-NA-NA-NAs throughout the song.
79. Thank God For Girls (White)
I don't cannoli what anybody says, I absolutely cannoli this song. I don't care if it shows a return of creepy lyrics about women or that it conjures up the picture of a young mastubating Cuomo every time the second verse rolls around, this song is way too cannoli for me to hate. Oh, and the lyric video is either the best or worst cannoli on youtube depending on my mood.
78. O Girlfriend (Green)
As sad album closers go this isn't exactly 'Butterfly', but it's still a decent and appropriate ending to 'Green' (I don't count 'I Do', it's more of an outro than anything else.)
77. Pork N Beans (Red)
If I ever need to remember what YouTube consisted of in 2008, the incredible 'Pork N Beans' music video is the first place I go. The song itself starts off with one of the best Weezer riffs from the 2000s before blasting into a chorus which is simultaneously awesome and terrible. The lyrics are, for once charmingly bad, mainly because of how dated they now seem. But honestly, the video has put this one up at least 10 places.
76. Hash Pipe (Green)
Hash Pipe should be higher! Hash Pipe should be lower! Yeah, I know this song is maybe the most divisive Weezer song, but for me it more or less lands in the middle, as a song with horrific verses but a really amazing chorus and lyrics which fall in between. Since it sounds like nothing on 'Green' it was a weird choice for a lead single, but hey, the video is amazing.
75. Get Right (Pacific Daydream)
Maybe the most visceral song on Pacific Daydream, this song certainly packs much more of a punch than anything surrounding it. That said, I can't shake the feeling that this is Weezer covering OneRepublic.
74. Time Flies (Hurley)
Why is the audio quality so poor? Obviously it's an intentional decision, but I don't understand the logic in taking an admittedly decent song and making sound like it's being played on a radio which isn't quite tuned into the right station?
73. Slob (Maladroit)
Another divisive song, 'Slob' is one where you'll probably either love or hate the song. I feel like I should like the song more than I do, but Cuomo's delivery and the dreariness of the distorted guitars has resulted in me never wanting to hear the song.
72. Da Vinci (EWBAITE)
Whistling pretty much never works in rock music, and it immediately sets a super corny tone for the song, which is supported by lyrics like "I looked you up on ancestry.com" and "Stephen Hawking could not explain you" which are already starting to date. That said, I love the bridge of this song and lyrics aside the chorus is pretty cool.
71. Any Friend of Diane's (Pacific Daydream)
It's nice to see that Weezer can still right songs with cohesive narratives, and the spanish guitar solo is beautiful. If only it wasn't sung with an awkward lisp.
The Good Tier
70. Back To The Shack (EWBAITE)
When this song dropped it was the best thing ever. Finally, a Weezer song with REAL INSTRUMENTS! And a GUITAR SOLO! And best of all, SELF-AWARE LYRICS! It was amazing to see Weezer not only acknowledge that the Raditude era was a mistake, but actually apologise to their fans in a kick-ass song was what I think everyone wanted. Since Pacific Daydream betrayed this though, the song is sadder to listen to than it should be.
69. Sweet Mart (Pacific Daydream)
The first second of this song is a dead ringer for the far superior 'Thirty-Three' by The Smashing Pumpkins, but don't let that distract you from Weezer's second best christmas song. The melody is lovely and the build up in intensity is also a nice structural switch-up for Weezer. the bridge even has some distorted guitar!
68. Mexican Fender (Pacific Daydream)
Easily the whitest song on the album (Because it sounds like something from the white album, not because the pre-chorus has the lyric 'It was hot, hot 100 degrees.'), this is a step below most of the songs on it's predecessor, but the bridge and euphoric chorus save it. It could've done with a solo though. 67. Run Away (Hurley)
Underrated! I barely hear anybody talk about this song (Or much of 'Hurley' in general.), which is a shame, as I would love some help trying to pin down what it is that I like so much about 'Run Away'. I'm pretty sure it's the 'Wha-oohs'.
66. Space Rock (Maladroit)
This was gonna be lower until I remembered how ball-bustingly weird this song is. I can't make out any of the verses, I have no idea why it's called 'Space Rock'. It's really short, yet strangely addicting.
65. American Gigolo (Maladroit)
Weezer's generally good at album openers (Other than 'Beverly Hills' and 'Troublemaker') and 'Gigolo' is no exception, and it gets me pumped up for 'Maladroit' every time I start the album. The only thing that holds it back is that it doesn't stand up as much when played as standalone song, but hey it's not a single so...
64. Put Me Back Together (Raditude)
The second-best song from 'Raditude' was essentially a All-American Rejects leftover, and it kind of sounds like it. I can't really justify it being above the last 4 songs, but the wave of relief I get hearing this after slogging through 'Can't Stop Partying' may have something to do with it.
63. Lonely Girl (EWBAITE)
A non-creepy song about girls coming after 'Smart Girls', 'Cold Dark World' and most of 'Raditude' would automatically make 'Lonely Girl' decent at least, but the song is really a really nice, simple Weezer song that slots nicely into the EWBAITE tracklist.
62. Take Control (Maladroit)
This is a heavier Weezer song that I actually really like, mainly because the triumphant chorus has some really great, relatable lyrics about leaving a toxic relationship without destroying everyone involved. Whatever guitar effect they use on this is also really cool.
61. This Is Such A Pity (Make Believe)
This is so much better than most of 'Make Believe' it's almost amazing it comes just two tracks after 'Beverly Hills'. Sure the lyrics are a bit vague, but that chorus... It's the funkiest Weezer have ever been and it's a shame the retro sound hasn't been returned to.
60. Girl We've Got A Thing (White)
I had to force myself to lower my rankings for many of the 'White' album songs, because they're all so upbeat, catchy and enjoyable that I tend to forget or dismiss any flaws I come across. As such I love 'GWGAGT' in pretty much every aspect other than the weird bridge which kills the mood up a bit, but when it breaks into that solo all is forgiven.
59. Dreamin' (Red)
This is one of the most adventurous Weezer songs, as in I feel like I get taken on a journey when listening to this song. It starts off super-upbeat before we get a bit more 'rock!', and then we lift off into Cuomo and Brian Bell's daydream. It comes off as really cheesy, but the framing of Cuomo being a kid makes it much more bearable. This segment is almost sad in how free it sounds, before it plunges into a great chorus of "Why am I so glad/ I'm running through the meadows etc." and then it bursts back into a slowed don version of the hook and then it ends just a little off with it's chanty ending.
58. Ain't Got Nobody (EWBAITE)
Back at it again with the great album openers that aren't so good when played alone.
57. Summer Elaine and Drunk Dori (White)
Yes, the title is atrocious, but this song is so tightly performed, building tension that all adds to the explosive chorus that I can forgive it. The lyrics are genuinely good (We've finally reached that point in the list!), talking about nostalgia in a better way than anything on 'Red', and that breakdown is heartbreaking, before the solo lifts you out of the sadness and it ploughs right into that chorus again - plus it has a Paranoid android reference so it must be good.
56. Perfect Situation (Make Believe)
The song everyone likes from 'Make Believe' benefits from having lyrics that aren't overly vague or overly creepy and having a well-implemented piano. The music video is one of their most creative and funny, and the often criticised "Wha-hoe' of the chorus is too fun to sing along to for me to hate.
55. December (Maladroit)
Another song I never hear being talked about, 'December' is a chugging pop-rock piece that is in my opinion flawless as a head-nodding album closer, but the lyrics are too vague and the song is too short for it to be a true classic.
54. Possibilities (Maladroit)
Similarly to 'Space Rock' this is a super short, energetic and addictive song I never hear mentioned, but every second of 'Possibilities' is filled with so much energy and creativity that it doesn't feel short at all, in the best way possible.
53. Love Explosion (Maladroit)
Listen to the second half of 'Maladroit' right now!!!!
52. Don't Let Go (Green)
So simplistic there isn't much to talk about, but suffice to say this is simplicity done right.
51. Weekend Woman (Pacific Daydream)
Easily the best christmas song Weezer has ever made (as much as I like their Christmas EP), this is a catchy, bass-heavy tune complete with church bells and a chorus so immediate you can almost feel snow falling onto the track. If only it was actually about Christmas and wasn't a track away from 'Feels Like Summer'.
50. Eulogy For a Rock Band (EWBAITE)
This is the point where 'EWBAITE' really gets going for me, it's uber-catchy has Queen-esque guitars in the verses and lyrics about... Weezer? It's not entirely clear, but when it sounds this good I don't really care.
49. Photograph (Green)
Super upbeat and catchy from the first second, this song is 3 minutes of pure musical happiness, but doesn't have enough solid meaning to be a true classic.
48. Ruling Me (Hurley)
This was the moment that I realised that the 'Raditude' era was over. Real instruments, lyrics that are awkward but in a nerdy rather than creepy way and a huge chorus with great backing vocals, this is one of the reasons you shouldn't write 'Hurley' off.
47. Smile (Green)
One of the more interesting 'Green' songs, this one benefits from having multiple different hooks and group vocals, making it the most successful song on the otherwise lightweight second half of the album.
46. Burndt Jamb (Maladroit)
The most infuriating song in Weezer's catalogue, this song would be significantly higher on this list if the shimmery, summery riff (Within my top 3 Weezer riffs) wasn't cut off in the middle off this charming jam for a tonally juxtaposed and uninteresting faux-metal riff.
45. The Futurescope Trilogy (EWBAITE)
Nobody expected that in 2014 Weezer would not only come back better than they had been since the 90s, but that the closing track on their comeback album would be a 7 minute, 3 part odyssey of Weezery-ness that exemplified everything that made them so great (Musically at least). The intro and outro of this piece are especially great in my opinion, showing the often underrated talents of the non-Cuomo band members. All that holds this back is the slightly disjointed nature and lyrics of the second half of the middle section, but otherwise this is one of their best album closers.
44. Wind In Our Sail (White)
A mellow, sunshiney song that works with 'California Kids' to set the scenery for the rest of 'White' to play about in, this song has some of the most interesting lyrics on the album, with a running theme of experimentation, full with references to famous scientists that gives this song the distinction of being one of the few Weezer songs with educational potential.
43. Holiday (Blue)
We have finally reached the 90s!!! Widely see as the worst song from 'Blue' (Because of the silly bridge mainly.), this is still an absolute essential of the album, albeit one where the first half is way stronger than the second.
42. Memories
One of the few times Cuomo's vocals lyrics sound both aggressive and good at the same time, this song is so successful because of it's constant momentum, sing-along chorus and the sorely relatable lyrics. That bridge and breakdown are also really cool, as is the video.
41. (If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To (Raditude)
I can't justify this being so high, but God-damn, this might be the most catchy song Weezer released in the 2000s. Either way, the lyrics tell a boy-meets-girl story that is so simple that it allows space for some of the weirdest lyrics Cuomo has ever came out with ("you told me stories about your chicka-DEEZ, they didn't like BB guns or stupid archery."), and that chorus hits like a dog flying across a living room.
40. King Of The World (White)
One of the best love songs Cuomo's ever written, this succeeds where most of 'Make Believe' failed - it's very specific, but not specific to the point of alienation. There's no doubt here that Cuomo is singing about his wife (Which makes a nice change from the promiscuity of songs like 'Smart Girls'), and yet the chorus is relatable enough to give the song a much wider appeal. It all sounds great too.
39. Crab (Green)
One of the few songs on 'Green' with any edge, this is a short ugly, badass creation that may repeat the same melody for two minutes, but it's a damn good melody.
38. Cleopatra (EWBAITE)
One of several weirdly history based songs on 'EWBAITE', 'Cleopatra' starts off slow and mellow, with just the dark lyrics hinting at what's to come. The song's gradual descension into a darker and darker song is impressive to behold, culminating in the solo, with seethes with rage.
37. QB Blitz (Pacific Daydream)
Sure the lyrics may be a bit cringe-worthy for the first verse, but after that it increases dramatically in quality, sounding like a hybrid between 'Island in the Sun' and 'In the Garage', with it's Star Wars reference in the chorus. The bridge is also the best moment on the entire album, and the bass is pumpin' throughout the song.
The God Tier!
36. Unspoken (Hurley)
An acoustic ballad that starts off summery and sweet before turning sour towards the end may sound similar to 'Cleopatra', but despite lacking a solo, 'Unspoken' manages to get an even better vocal performance from Cuomo and keeps the tension going for longer, so that when the distortion breaks through it's even more satisfying.
35. Jacked Up (White)
I always love falsetto singing when used appropriately, and it's one of the best features of 'Jacked Up's piano-led chorus. The remix with members from Pussy Riot and Fitz and The Tantrums may be one of the worst things Weezer has ever done, but it only makes the original version seem better.
34. No One Else (Blue)
Is it sexist? Judging by everything Cuomo has done since, the answer may well be yes, but I'll be damned if this isn't the catchiest sexist anthem ever created.
33. Island In The Sun (Green)
I'm constantly surprised that this is Weezer's most played song on Spotify by some distance, as living in the UK I never hear this song on the radio compared to 'Buddy Holly', but either way, I can see why this song is so popular with casual fans. It's so sunny and summery that you can just play it again and again and again and again without getting tired of it.
32. Keep Fishin' (Maladroit)
There are few Weezer songs as plain enjoyable as 'Keep Fishin', with it's positive messages and multiple choruses, this song is guaranteed to make you instantly happier. The muppet-filled video is also one of their all-time best.
31. Slave (Maladroit)
Another instant feel-good song from 'Maladroit', this one has a slight edge because of it's more uplifting set of riffs and hooks. Luckily, this song seems to have survived it's second-half of 'Maladroit' placing too, as they performed the song as part of their spotify sessions last year.
30. The British Are Coming (EWBAITE)
For a song that seems to be referencing literal historic events with no sense of metaphor, this has no right to be as uplifting as it is. A chorus that has some lovely falsetto sprinkled in and music that sets a really cool atmosphere before the awesome breakdown/solo rips through helps I suppose.
29. No Other One (Pinkerton)
Picking places for the different songs on 'Pinkerton' feels almost wrong, as the album is such a cohesive masterwork of angst and depression, so just because I've put 'No Other One' as the lowest song from the album, it's still incredible. The sliding riff throughout the song is especially great, sounding both exciting and chilling at the same time.
28. Tired Of Sex (Pinkerton)
The heaviest song Weezer has ever released, this is a thunderous, disturbing opening to 'Pinkerton' that would scar many suprised 'Blue' fans taking the album for it's first spin for many years to come.
27. Dope Nose (Maladroit)
The lead single of 'Maladroit', 'Dope Nose' ended up as the best song off the whole album. It's pure distilled awesomeness, wailing with 'Oh-oh-oh's and filled with lyrics that may be nonsensical but sound really cool. As usual, the solo only adds to this feeling.
26. Surf Wax America (Blue)
Although one of the sillier and less substantial tracks on 'Blue', this song stands out for being a prefect summer anthem and for seemingly inspiring the entirety of 'The White Album'.
25. California Kids (White)
... And here is a prime example. The perfect intro to 'White', this song sounds exactly like driving along a sunny seaside, complete with a terrible/amazing video where the 3 questionable music videos that promoted previous 'White' singles are revisited by a confused Cuomo. The video's last 5 seconds are the worst thing ever though.
24. Foolish Father (EWBAITE)
This was the perfect closing track for 'EWBAITE', which is strange considering it isn't actually the final song on the album, but nonetheless, it has the uplifting chorus and even a choir based, sing-a-long outro. Without these, the song is lyrically very personal to an extent we hadn't seen since 'Pinkerton' (Unless 'Can't Stop Partying' is an accurate description of what Cuomo's life was like in 2009.).
23. In the Garage (Blue)
Maybe the single song that earned Weezer song the nerd-rock label, 'Garage' benefits from it's specific lyrics, which make the song immediately relatable to those who have 'Dungeon Master's Guides' and KISS posters up, and rather than being dated it now serves as a nostalgic time-capsule into 90s geekdom.
22. Hang On (Hurley)
Occasionally you come across a song which you fall in love with, but have no idea why. 'Hang on' is one of these songs for me. It's remarkable simple, has no solo (On the album at least), has a confusingly bad music video and has no lyrical depth - but it does have Michael Cera. His backing vocals are one of the most addictive qualities of the tune, as is the prominent mandolin. Feel free to disagree with how high this is, but I love it either way.
21. The World Has Turned And Left Me Here (Blue)
The first sign we get at Weezer's ability to write a really great sad song, this song is absolutely crushing from the sludging guitars of the intro to the desperate, almost embarrassing lyrics of the verses that would be perfected on 'Pinkerton'.
20. Getchoo (Pinkerton)
Another of the heaviest Weezer songs, this one also starts off in some kind of musical Hell with screeching guitars, and once the lyrics kick in it becomes clear that this is the starting point from which 'Pinkerton' sprouts, where Cuomo is already at a low stage which doesn't really get much better throughout the album.
19. Only in Dreams (Blue)
Still the longest song on any Weezer album, this 8 minute beast is one of their most heartbreaking songs, thanks to the soft lyric delivery and the lyrics themselves, hopelessly relatable to any awkward teenage boy. The bassline is maybe Weezer's all-time best, and the extended outro, which many have theorised to represent a masturbation session, is a brilliant way to end the 'Blue album'.
18. Pink Triangle (Pinkerton) This is perhaps the Weezer song most likely to cause offence, other than maybe 'El Scorcho', which the song is appropriately paired with on 'Pinkerton'. However, this doesn't detract from the song at all - other than meaning you probably shouldn't play it in front of non-fans - but actually adds to it. 'pink Triangle' is the epitome of what makes 'Pinkerton' great, it reads like a diary entry that is incredibly relatable to many people, but if you'd written it you would burn it as soon as someone threatened to read it. If I could personally relate to this song, it would be even higher, but it's pretty amazing as it is.
17. Trainwrecks (Hurley)
A HURLEY SONG IN THE TOP 20??!! You'd better believe it, because 'Trainwrecks' has a thumping momentum throughout it's whole run-time and even though it's great from the opening bassline it just gets better as it goes on. The primary reason you should check out 'Hurley' if you haven't.
16. Endless Bummer (White)
Sure the title is a bit naff, but it only helps to make the greatness of 'Bummer' more surprising. With the most memorable chord sequence since 'Island in The Sun', this song has a similar summery vibe but with much more interesting lyrics and a blazing guitar solo that ends not just this song but the whole 'White' album in style.
15. Why Bother (Pinkerton)
Simultaneously hilarious and depressing, this is a nihilistic, punky jam that manages to fit 3 choruses, 2 verses and a guitar solo into a 2-minute runtime.
14. Undone (The Sweater Song)
The first ever Weezer single is also one of the best, perfectly encapsulating what makes the band so great. The riff is still maybe Weezer's all time most memorable, and the chorus is also impossible to not sing along to. It also has a jam session quality that few other Weezer songs have, especially during the outro. My only minor criticism is that the conversation interlude and intro go on a bit too long, but it doesn't stop the rest of the song being bloomin' brilliant.
13. The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Red)
I know some might disagree with this being above 'Undone', but I believe that 'TGMTEL' is the perfect summation of 2000s Weezer. It starts off slow with a piano intro before bursting into a so-bad-it's-good rap that then morphs into a Slipknot parody. The rest of the song goes through the styles of about 10 different styles and artists. I'm still not sure if this is a parody of the self-centred 2008 pop music scene or just an insane experiment, but either way it's incredible to watch unfolding before your ears. Particular highlights for me are the falsetto section and the brilliantly terrible spoken word interlude ("If you don't like it, you can shove it... But you don't like it, you love it.").
12. The Good Life (Pinkerton)
This is easily the most radio-friendly song on 'Pinkerton', and with slight lyrical trimming could have even been on 'Blue'. The long build up to the chorus is unique in Weezer's catalogue despite it's effectiveness here, and the drumming really grabs my attention here for some reason. The best thing about this song though, is in the context of 'Pinkerton' as an album, where it comes as a welcome antidote to the bleakness of the first half of the album.
11. Falling For You (Pinkerton)
Even though 'Falling For You' starts off as a frustrated anthem that flows perfectly from 'Pink Triangle', painting an image of a Cuomo who is tired of his constant hopelessness at romance, it's this high because it contains the most euphoric moment on the album with the declaration of "Holy sweet Goddamn, you left your cello in the basement!" during the bridge, pointing out the one time where things actually go to plan on the album. Hell, by the end of the track Cuomo might actually be in a relationship hes happy with. What could go wrong...
10. I've Had It Up To Here (EWBAITE)
If 'Back to Shack' was Weezer's promise to return to their roots, then 'Had It Up To Here' is their apology for their 2000s output. Because of this alone it would be at least appreciated, but the song itself also sounds fantastic, with the pre-chorus and chorus especially backed up by a rock choir that builds with the instrumentation to a climax which is powerful every time. The lyrics are also the best since 'Pinkerton', with my favourite line being "Don't wanna be mass consumed, I'm not a happy meal."
9. Do You Wanna Get High? (White)
After the disaster of 'We Are All On Drugs' Weezer stayed off the topic of drugs until this chugging, atmospheric piece which is at once terrifying, dark and quite funny, with references to Burt Bacharach mixing with imagery of "Falling to the floor, with our face in a knot". It manages to convey the excitement and worry of a young guy's first experience with drugs complete with a radioactive guitar solo.
8. Buddy Holly (Blue)
The second Weezer song I ever heard, (After 'Beverley Hills' of all songs.) this was the one that got me really interested in them. It's a perfect pop-rock song, that seems to inspire pretty much all of the 'Green' album, and a huge number of imitators. It also contains maybe my favourite 5 second-moment in any Weezer song with that 'DEE-DOO-DEE-NA-DEE-NA-DO-DUM' guitar squeal before the final chorus.
7. The Angel And The One (Red)
Coming directly after 3 of the least Weezer-y songs on any Weezer album, this song comes out of the blue to become the best song Weezer released in the 2000s. The music gradually builds over 5 minutes along with the lyrics until the incredibly powerful climax of "Peace, Shalom" finally breaks. This song sends shivers down my spine, which only a handful of songs by any artist can actually do, making it even more unbelievable that only a year later 'Raditude' was released.
6. L.A. Girlz (White)
Sometimes a song comes out perfectly formed, and 'L.A. Girlz' is an example. The lyrics are heartbreaking, and the music varies from crunching power chords that perfectly convey the panic of the lyrics to the pleading breakdown before my favourite moment in any Weezer song since the 90s - that solo. I can't explain how, but it's just so uplifting, summery and yet so sad at the same time.
5. El Scorcho (Pinkerton)
"GOD-DAMN YOU HALF JAPANESE GIRLS!" is either the best or worst opening line to a Weezer song depending on if you have a soul or not. Many people have stated this as the most relatable Weezer song, and I'm inclined to agree. It's genius is that it's very specific in the verses, giving the song an entertaining narrative, but the chorus is universal, complete with charmingly duff backing vocals. A classic.
4. Butterfly (Pinkerton)
The most depressing, heartbreaking song in Weezer's discography, this is the kind of album closer that I wish I could avert every time, like watching the ending of 'Romeo and Juliet'. It starts off as a re-telling of Madame Butterfly (From what i can tell at least.), which is sad enough as it is, but the song really gets destructive when he refers back to the wider narrative of 'Cuomo-is-a-loser' that the album's been building up. "If I'm a dog then you're a bitch" is the bluntest Cuomo ever got, and 'Butterfly' is a tour-de-force of sadness not matched since.
3. My Name Is Jonas (Blue)
One of the all-time best album openers, this gets Weezer's discography going with chugging momentum from the opening riff before the power chords crash in. The rest of the song changes and develops like no others in Weezer's catalogue, with solos and harmonicas all packed into a 3 and a half-minute song about trying to get compensation from a minor car accident.
2. Across The Sea (Pinkerton)
My runner-up is the centrepiece of 'Pinkerton', and is almost as heartbreaking as 'Butterfly' and almost as relatable as 'El Scorcho', yet is ultimately superior to both. Detailing Cuomo's experience of receiving a letter from a Japanese fangirl, 'Across the Sea' rings completely true. The bridge especially is perhaps the most we've ever learnt about Cuomo's personal life, and it's as depressing as the rest of the song. But where 'Butterfly' is utterly defeated in tone, Cuomo at least has some kind of optimism here with his half-smile delivery of "I've got your letter, you've got my song".
1. Jacked Up (Feat. Fitz of Fitz and the Tantrums and Nadiya of Pussy Riot) - remix (White album Deluxe)
It has Patrone, It has the beat and every time I play it I sure get a lot of pretty girls around me. Nah, but for real...
1. Say It Ain't So (Blue)
It all starts with that opening riff. Sleepy bliss turns into denial which turns into worry which turns into despair which turns into pure rage all in 4 minutes. Another of Cuomo's most personal songs, this one focuses on seemingly a single second in Cuomo's child mind, as he sees his step-father has a beer in his 'icebox', making Cuomo paranoid that he is going down the same alcoholic route as his father. The song is not just Weezer's best thanks to it's sizzling solo and brilliant performances from the whole band, but is one of the defining alt-rock songs of the 90s. And obviously you all saw it coming.
Linkin Park have made a pop album, and it ain't pretty. I'll start this off by disclaiming that I'm not a huge fan of Linkin Park, but I have enjoyed some of their previous singles and I own a (Still-unplayed) copy of 'Hybrid Theory' on CD, but honestly this new album is so poor I feel like being a fan of the band would only make me hate it more.
I don't like using the word sell-out, but man, it REALLY applies here. Getting Pusha T and Stormzy onto the major misstep 'Good Goodbye' just screams 'please give us hip-hop credibility!', especially when Linkin Park still have their own resident rapper Mike Shinoda. Shinoda takes lead vocals on several tracks here, vocals which are so personality-lite they remind me most of the guy from the Chainsmokers when he tries to sing. Closing track 'Sharp Edges' sounds like a car advert song, and is ironically the safest, least edgy song Linkin Park has ever made to my knowledge. The worst trends in modern pop are also present, with the TRAP INFLUENCE on songs like 'Invisible' and 'Nobody Can Save Me' and my current least favourite trend, high-pitched-cut-up-vocal-sample-drops present on 'Sorry For Now'.
The lead singles are actually some of the worst songs on the whole project, especially 'Battle symphony' which is likely the worst song I've heard all year so far. The song sees Linkin Park attempting to rip off the lyrical content of Rachel Platten 'Fight Song' (A song which is already one of my all-time most hated songs) - the song title 'Battle symphony' being a literal reworking of the original's title - and the production of this song is horrific too. I'm not going to complain about the lack of guitars on the album, because some really great albums have been released by rock artists without focusing on guitars in the past ('Kid A' by Radiohead for example.), but I will complain about every song on this album being a bad pop song.
Other vocalist Chester Bennington has a more recognisable voice, but is also totally mismatched by the limp synth chord sequences in all of these songs, making his voice just sound a bit silly on songs like 'Halfway Right' (Which is filled with millennial whoops for added genericness.) and ironic jam of the year 'Why is everything so hevee?' which bafflingly features one-hit wonder Kiiara on passable guest vocals. Bennington's voice fits screamy, angsty songs like 'Numb' so well, why reduce him to singing songs so calm and quiet it's as if he's trying not to wake his parents sleeping in the next room with his vocal performances?
This is the worst album I've heard from an established rock band in a long time, and the only album I can even compare it to is 'Raditude' by Weezer. It's a band selling out at a time when most pop music is limp and boring, with every song on 'One More Light' being either mind-numbingly boring or obnoxiously terrible, but if you're not a fan of Linkin Park I do recommend this album as a lesson on what not to do.
This song confuses me like few others have this year. It's currently number 10 in the UK chart and number 12 on the Billboard US top 100, yet I have no idea how or why it's been such a big hit. Usually with songs I don't like I can see why they become popular - 'Juju on That Beat' has a stupid dance for example - but 'Issues'? I suppose the sparse instrumental is distinct from the rest of the hot 100, but it's not exactly good. It's not very catchy and is extremely sleepy, and when the weird cut up vocals come in during the verse it stops even being pleasant to listen to. The breakdown of the song is a bit better, but it suffers from my personal biggest problem with the song - the ear-scraping vocals. At this point I'm super-tired of female vocals on EDM tracks that are so smooth and pitch perfect that they sound as robotic as the beats behind them, but compared to Julia Michaels warbling, uncomfortable vocal performance I'd take the EDM banger any day.
It's rare for me to find a voice I can't stand so much I have to actually turn off the radio, and even vocal performances that I initially dislike can grow on me, as I realise people can't help what they sound like (Tom DeLonge and Ariana Grande are two examples of voices that have massively grown on me over time.), but after giving 'Issues' a month I can safely say that Michaels's' voice is not one of these. It constantly sounds like she's singing slightly too high for it to be comfortable for her and she always sounds on the brink of tears. The lyrics are also variable, the lowlight being the couplet where Michaels rhymes 'Break things' with 'Fix things', but despite how fear-stricken Michaels sounds, the lyrics are more upbeat and have a more positive message than most of the stuff on the charts.
With all of that said, I do believe there is hope for Julia Michaels. She's written and co-written some massive hits over the past 3 years including 'Sorry' by Justin Beiber and more recently 'Heavy' by Linkin Park (A review of which is coming out very soon.), so if she improves her singing she may end up producing some decent material. But I never want to hear 'Issues' again.
