Following on from my list of the top 10 worst songs of the year list, available here, here is my list for the top 10 worst and most disappointing albums of the year, split up into top 5s for both categories. Also, note that the albums in the disappointing category aren't necessarily that bad, but fell way short of my expectations for them.
Top 5 most disappointing albums of 2017
5. Wolf Alice - Visions of a Life
I actually enjoyed Wolf Alice's debut album a decent amount when it came out back in 2015 - although I didn't think it was a masterpiece as many have labelled it - and I thought they were easily the most interesting new British band to become massively popular, so I had high expectations for their follow-up. Then 'Yuk Foo' was released, a faux-punk song complete with cringe-worthy whispered verses and some awful production decisions (Such as the vocal sampling that randomly ensues halfway through the song.). The next 3 singles varied in quality but all seemed to be in completely different genres, and while the album is generally more cohesive than was suggested by these songs, they tend to be on the hazy, bland shoegaze side of things, making 'Visions of A Life' a frustrating listen.
4. Ed Sheeran - Divide
I was never a super-fan of Ed Sheeran before divide, and I actively hate 'The A Team' and 'Thinking Out Loud' at this point, but for the most part I was appreciative of a unique new voice in pop that was making some legitimately great music - 'Don't', 'Sing', 'lego House', 'Drunk' and 'I see Fire' are some of my favourite hit songs from this decade - so I was pretty let down by 'Divide'. It has one or two great songs, namely 'Castle on The Hill' and 'Supermarket Flowers' - hey, I don't mind 'Galway Girl' much either, but these moments are swallowed up by an album filled with lowlights. From the overplayed and irritating 'Shape of You' to the endless stream of dull, generic ballads: 'Perfect', 'Dive' and 'How would You Feel' all feel twice as long as they actually are. The rest of the tracklist is made up of twee nonsense ('What Do I Know?'), or the utter embarrassment of 'New Man'.
3. Weezer - Pacific Daydream
After making my top 3 best albums of the year last year, Weezer now make the opposite position. This isn't their worst album by any means, probably not even their bottom 3, but it's still for the most part bland and uninteresting. With the exception of 'QB Blitz', every song has lifeless, modern pop production that doesn't suit River's vocals or lyrics at all, but hey, this is Weezer. They'll probably have another album out next year and we can all forget about this.
2. Arcade Fire - Everything Now
This is a weird one, as I didn't really become an Arcade fire fan until after this was released. But 20 listens of 'Funeral' later and this is, in retrospect, very disappointing. Taking on the manic maximalism of the internet in an album is a great idea, but Arcade Fire's attempt at making a Sgt. Peppers style alternative band image for this project fell flat on it's face. The highs on this album - The title track and 'Put Your Money on Me' - reek of other artists (e.g ABBA), but the main problem is how bafflingly awful much of the material on here is. 'Electric Blue' just plain sounds awful, and songs like 'Peter Pan' and 'Chemistry' sound oddly wrong, with random synth and guitar noises popping up without any attempt to link these sounds into a cohesive song. It all sounds like someone trying to make 'OK Computer' and ending up with 'Trout Mask Replica'.
1. The whole music industry Ft.Gorillaz - Humanz
When Gorillaz announced a new album, I was PUMPED for it. 'Demon Days' and 'Plastic Beach' are two of the first albums I ever owned, and after taking 6 years off, surely Damon Albarn would have some great songs up his sleeve! Plus, the last Blur album in 2015 was decent, so what could go wrong? What if you release 4 singles that happen to be the best songs off a 14 track album, and have none of them being up to the same level of quality as their last album? What if you not only have multiple featured artists on every song, but have lots of them essentially dictate what each song sounds like, so the album becomes massively incohesive? What if Albarn sounds bored stiff as 2D, whenever he occasionally pops up? What if a large chunk of the songs sound (similarly to 'Everything Now') incohesive and cluttered - 'Sex Murder Party', 'Let Me Out', 'Hallelujah Money'?
I was massively let down by this, and the fact that the guestless B-Side 'Sleeping Powder' is better than every song on the main album makes me feel like 'Humanz' was little more than a way for Damon Albarn to show off his musical connections.
Top 5 worst albums of 2017
5. Chris Brown - Heartbreak on a Full Moon
It's a Two and a half hour, 45 song album and Chris Brown ain't no Stephin Merritt. The worrying trend of hip-hop/R&B albums getting longer and longer to encourage more streams taken to an excruciating extreme, this is a mess of autotune and sexism that we've come to expect from Chris Brown. This might have been number one on this list, but I can't make it through more than 20 tracks no matter how hard I try, so I technically haven't heard all of this album.
4. Taylor Swift - Reputation
More bearable in size, but less bearable in quality is Taylor Swift's 'Reputation'. Aside from the car-crash that is 'Look What you made Me Do', this is all of the worst parts of modern pop production paired with bitter, cringey lyrics. The 'concept' of having every song discuss Taylor Swift's public image is never developed in any way deeper than saying "I don't like you", and I think it's telling that this wasn't put onto streaming services and the marketing campaign had an unusually large focus on pre-orders - nobody would pay money for this after hearing it.
3. Linkin Park - One More Light
It's depressing to know that this was the last album Chester Bennington will ever make, the equivalent of if Weezer had broken up after the release of 'Raditude'. If anything, 'One More Light' is this decade's equivalent of 'Raditude', complete with guest rappers, pop-country balladry, EDM drops and what would have been the most mockable hook of the year with 'Heavy' (though that would be in pretty poor taste now.). Had Chester Bennington not died this year I would be shrugging and passing it off as a low note of a generally decent career, but his suicide just makes the album seem even more unworthy of being the last Linkin Park album.
2.The Chainsmokers - Memories... Do Not Open
The most appropriately named album of the year, this is somehow even worse than what everyone expected from the Chainsmokers. When a song as bland as 'Paris' is the best tune here you know something's wrong, but what's more worrying is that there are so many clunkers here it's difficult to pick the worst track. 'Break Up Every Night', 'My Type', 'Bloodstream' and 'Last Day Alive' are all so purely terrible they could be mistaken as the soundtrack to a musical comedy about two frat-boy DJ's who realise they can become popular off of doing nothing and yet instead make an effort to make toe-curlingly awful music.
1. AJR - The Click
Similarly to The Chainsmokers' album I find it difficult to pick the worst song on this album - every song here is equally unbearable. Obnoxious pitch shifting, Twenty-One Pilots rip-off vocals (Which manage to make Tyler Joseph's already annoying vocal style utterly unlistenable.), and music that rips off Jon Bellion, this feels like an album made specifically to appeal to fans of both artists, created by out of touch adults. The lyrics constantly sound overly defensive, with several songs addressing what the band believes the haters will say - which is ironic, since this constant insecurity becomes the most hateable aspect of the album. Well, that and the painful falsettos that ruin every song they appear within instantly. Everything else sounds like it was written to be in advert, which twee acoustic guitar that renders these songs completely worthless. Childish, annoying and painful.
Thursday, 30 November 2017
Wednesday, 29 November 2017
Top 10 worst songs of 2017
2017 is nearly over, and it's been... Ok for music? The charts have generally been alright, with most of the worst material being bland rather than unlistenable trash, and the best stuff being legitimately great thanks to Kendrick Lamar and Lorde among others. However, underground music hasn't had an especially outstanding year, with most of the best releases of the year not even being the best releases by it's creator(s) (St. Vincent and LCD Soundsystem, for example.). But still, plenty of good stuff was released in 2017, and of course a huge amount of awful, horrible music. Here are in my opinion, the 10 worst songs of the year, from bad (number 10) to worst (number 1).
10. Train - Play That Song
Is this the most out-of-touch song of the year? Quite possibly. I've had a vendetta against Train since 'Hey Soul Sister' back in 2009, where the high pitched tinny ukelele, high pitched ear piercing vocals, and the high pitched drums and 'bass' led to one of the most headache-inducing songs of the 2000s. 'Play That Song' isn't quite as bad (if only because it hasn't been in as high rotation on the radio), but Patrick Monohan's vocals this time range from ear-piercing to a weird drunken drawl, and his lyrics are uncomfortably aimed at a teenage audience while using a lexis that's been out of date for two decades. No wonder it's been way less successful than their previous singles.
9. Kodak Black - Tunnel Vision
On the other end of the musical spectrum is this trap-flavoured monstrosity from Kodak Black. The beat isn't great to start off with, with it's awkward, jumpy synths that seem to flux in-and-out of rhythm with the beat, but the real problem is Kodak himself. The chorus is unbearable, and seems to make up more than half of the song, with the extended "nnnnnnn" sounds on the end of each bar making Kodak sound incredibly bored the whole time. When he does start spitting his lyrics range from generic to flat out awful. The music video is also laughably edgy and poorly executed.
8. Iggy Azalea - Mo Bounce
Iggy Azalea was an easy target for music critics almost as soon as she arrived on the scene with her fake accent and generally lazy production, but I never truly despised a song by her until this year. Apparently after her last single 'Team' failed spectacularly last year, Azalea has completely given up hope of getting popular off of talent and instead just created this queasy, bass-heavy throwback to the worst music from the early 2010s, along with a borderline pornographic music video. It's hard to imagine anyone ever sitting through more than 20 seconds of this.
7. The Chainsmokers - Break Up Every Night
I feel like I could put any song released this year by the Chainsmokers in this spot and it would be deserved, but 'Break up Every Night' takes the crap-cake due to it's central lyrics of "She wants to break up every night, then tries to f**k me back to life". Ewww.
6. Linkin Park - Battle Symphony
It's a tragedy that Chester Bennington took his own life earlier this year, and so it's a shame that nearly all of 'One More Light' was filled with bland drivel that is the definition of what it means to sell out in 2017. 'Battle Symphony' is especially bad, since it manages to rip-off one of the worst songs of 2015, Rachel Platten's 'Fight Song'. The chorus seems to have been copied word-for-word and then translated into edgy language to appeal to... seemingly very few people. The production strips any potential for bombast or energy, and it's generally a very sad note to go out on for a writer who made some classics while he was alive.
5. Taylor Swift - Look What You Made Me Do
This is maybe the biggest mistake I've ever seen an artist this big make in the limelight in my 7 years of closely following pop music, and for several weeks after this was released it was being ridiculed by seemingly everybody, and deservedly so. At this point you've heard this, either with utter dismay or with glee, depending on your opinion of Taylor Swift, so I'll Swiftly move on.
4. Hopsin - Happy Ending
There is an official video for this travesty, but I highly recommend not seeking it out - it was so awful it was actually removed from Youtube (At least the high quality version). This song is straight-up racist and it seems to innocently gleeful about it that it's impossible not to listen to the entirety of this with your head in your hands. Hopsin is notorious for his overly serious, self-righteous tunes, but this is infinitely worse. The autotuned fake asian accented chorus (Sample lyric: "I can give you sucky sucky") and the unlistenable second verse - essentially Hopsin reciting his own erotic fanfiction - bind together to make this a laughably awful song.
3. Jake Paul & Co. - It's Everyday Bro
This was the year of eye-roll worthy Youtube diss tracks, and while it was easy to avoid nearly all of them, this song actually crossed over to the billboard hot 100. This is a totally amateur production by a bunch of irritating, arrogant bunch of overgrown children. A number of lyrics have already gone down in the Meme dictionary ("England is my City", "Selling like a God Church" and "Let me Educate ya; I ain't talkin' book", for example), and I think that's a testament to how groan-worthy this song is.
2. AJR - No Grass Today
Twenty-One Pilots have become unfairly maligned by many for their pop sensibilities and admittedly irritating fan-base, but surely even the most hardened TOP hater will give them some credit after hearing this disaster by AJR. Imagine Tyler Jospeh's stilted vocal delivery with lyrics about not smoking weed - although framed in an off-putting and overly defensive way that makes the song seem like it shouldn't exist. Now imagine the worst bridge you've ever heard EVER and you have 'No Grass Today'.
1. Fall-Out Boy - Young and Menace
I knew this was going to be the worst song of the year the moment I heard it. It's so hair-tearingly awful that not even AJR could usurp them. But hey, the first minute isn't even that bad, so how could this be the worst of the year? Well if you drift along the first minute of build-up you will get to the worst drop I have ever heard. Yes, not even the drops of '#SELFIE' or of Will.I.Am's EDM years can compare to this 40-SECOND(!!) horror show of pitch shifted screams and dubstep-leftover production that has produced the most painful, least enjoyable piece of music I have heard this year.
10. Train - Play That Song
Is this the most out-of-touch song of the year? Quite possibly. I've had a vendetta against Train since 'Hey Soul Sister' back in 2009, where the high pitched tinny ukelele, high pitched ear piercing vocals, and the high pitched drums and 'bass' led to one of the most headache-inducing songs of the 2000s. 'Play That Song' isn't quite as bad (if only because it hasn't been in as high rotation on the radio), but Patrick Monohan's vocals this time range from ear-piercing to a weird drunken drawl, and his lyrics are uncomfortably aimed at a teenage audience while using a lexis that's been out of date for two decades. No wonder it's been way less successful than their previous singles.
9. Kodak Black - Tunnel Vision
On the other end of the musical spectrum is this trap-flavoured monstrosity from Kodak Black. The beat isn't great to start off with, with it's awkward, jumpy synths that seem to flux in-and-out of rhythm with the beat, but the real problem is Kodak himself. The chorus is unbearable, and seems to make up more than half of the song, with the extended "nnnnnnn" sounds on the end of each bar making Kodak sound incredibly bored the whole time. When he does start spitting his lyrics range from generic to flat out awful. The music video is also laughably edgy and poorly executed.
8. Iggy Azalea - Mo Bounce
Iggy Azalea was an easy target for music critics almost as soon as she arrived on the scene with her fake accent and generally lazy production, but I never truly despised a song by her until this year. Apparently after her last single 'Team' failed spectacularly last year, Azalea has completely given up hope of getting popular off of talent and instead just created this queasy, bass-heavy throwback to the worst music from the early 2010s, along with a borderline pornographic music video. It's hard to imagine anyone ever sitting through more than 20 seconds of this.
7. The Chainsmokers - Break Up Every Night
I feel like I could put any song released this year by the Chainsmokers in this spot and it would be deserved, but 'Break up Every Night' takes the crap-cake due to it's central lyrics of "She wants to break up every night, then tries to f**k me back to life". Ewww.
6. Linkin Park - Battle Symphony
It's a tragedy that Chester Bennington took his own life earlier this year, and so it's a shame that nearly all of 'One More Light' was filled with bland drivel that is the definition of what it means to sell out in 2017. 'Battle Symphony' is especially bad, since it manages to rip-off one of the worst songs of 2015, Rachel Platten's 'Fight Song'. The chorus seems to have been copied word-for-word and then translated into edgy language to appeal to... seemingly very few people. The production strips any potential for bombast or energy, and it's generally a very sad note to go out on for a writer who made some classics while he was alive.
5. Taylor Swift - Look What You Made Me Do
This is maybe the biggest mistake I've ever seen an artist this big make in the limelight in my 7 years of closely following pop music, and for several weeks after this was released it was being ridiculed by seemingly everybody, and deservedly so. At this point you've heard this, either with utter dismay or with glee, depending on your opinion of Taylor Swift, so I'll Swiftly move on.
4. Hopsin - Happy Ending
There is an official video for this travesty, but I highly recommend not seeking it out - it was so awful it was actually removed from Youtube (At least the high quality version). This song is straight-up racist and it seems to innocently gleeful about it that it's impossible not to listen to the entirety of this with your head in your hands. Hopsin is notorious for his overly serious, self-righteous tunes, but this is infinitely worse. The autotuned fake asian accented chorus (Sample lyric: "I can give you sucky sucky") and the unlistenable second verse - essentially Hopsin reciting his own erotic fanfiction - bind together to make this a laughably awful song.
3. Jake Paul & Co. - It's Everyday Bro
This was the year of eye-roll worthy Youtube diss tracks, and while it was easy to avoid nearly all of them, this song actually crossed over to the billboard hot 100. This is a totally amateur production by a bunch of irritating, arrogant bunch of overgrown children. A number of lyrics have already gone down in the Meme dictionary ("England is my City", "Selling like a God Church" and "Let me Educate ya; I ain't talkin' book", for example), and I think that's a testament to how groan-worthy this song is.
2. AJR - No Grass Today
Twenty-One Pilots have become unfairly maligned by many for their pop sensibilities and admittedly irritating fan-base, but surely even the most hardened TOP hater will give them some credit after hearing this disaster by AJR. Imagine Tyler Jospeh's stilted vocal delivery with lyrics about not smoking weed - although framed in an off-putting and overly defensive way that makes the song seem like it shouldn't exist. Now imagine the worst bridge you've ever heard EVER and you have 'No Grass Today'.
1. Fall-Out Boy - Young and Menace
I knew this was going to be the worst song of the year the moment I heard it. It's so hair-tearingly awful that not even AJR could usurp them. But hey, the first minute isn't even that bad, so how could this be the worst of the year? Well if you drift along the first minute of build-up you will get to the worst drop I have ever heard. Yes, not even the drops of '#SELFIE' or of Will.I.Am's EDM years can compare to this 40-SECOND(!!) horror show of pitch shifted screams and dubstep-leftover production that has produced the most painful, least enjoyable piece of music I have heard this year.
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