2017 is nearly over, and it's been... Ok for music? The charts have generally been alright, with most of the worst material being bland rather than unlistenable trash, and the best stuff being legitimately great thanks to Kendrick Lamar and Lorde among others. However, underground music hasn't had an especially outstanding year, with most of the best releases of the year not even being the best releases by it's creator(s) (St. Vincent and LCD Soundsystem, for example.). But still, plenty of good stuff was released in 2017, and of course a huge amount of awful, horrible music. Here are in my opinion, the 10 worst songs of the year, from bad (number 10) to worst (number 1).
10. Train - Play That Song
Is this the most out-of-touch song of the year? Quite possibly. I've had a vendetta against Train since 'Hey Soul Sister' back in 2009, where the high pitched tinny ukelele, high pitched ear piercing vocals, and the high pitched drums and 'bass' led to one of the most headache-inducing songs of the 2000s. 'Play That Song' isn't quite as bad (if only because it hasn't been in as high rotation on the radio), but Patrick Monohan's vocals this time range from ear-piercing to a weird drunken drawl, and his lyrics are uncomfortably aimed at a teenage audience while using a lexis that's been out of date for two decades. No wonder it's been way less successful than their previous singles.
9. Kodak Black - Tunnel Vision
On the other end of the musical spectrum is this trap-flavoured monstrosity from Kodak Black. The beat isn't great to start off with, with it's awkward, jumpy synths that seem to flux in-and-out of rhythm with the beat, but the real problem is Kodak himself. The chorus is unbearable, and seems to make up more than half of the song, with the extended "nnnnnnn" sounds on the end of each bar making Kodak sound incredibly bored the whole time. When he does start spitting his lyrics range from generic to flat out awful. The music video is also laughably edgy and poorly executed.
8. Iggy Azalea - Mo Bounce
Iggy Azalea was an easy target for music critics almost as soon as she arrived on the scene with her fake accent and generally lazy production, but I never truly despised a song by her until this year. Apparently after her last single 'Team' failed spectacularly last year, Azalea has completely given up hope of getting popular off of talent and instead just created this queasy, bass-heavy throwback to the worst music from the early 2010s, along with a borderline pornographic music video. It's hard to imagine anyone ever sitting through more than 20 seconds of this.
7. The Chainsmokers - Break Up Every Night
I feel like I could put any song released this year by the Chainsmokers in this spot and it would be deserved, but 'Break up Every Night' takes the crap-cake due to it's central lyrics of "She wants to break up every night, then tries to f**k me back to life". Ewww.
6. Linkin Park - Battle Symphony
It's a tragedy that Chester Bennington took his own life earlier this year, and so it's a shame that nearly all of 'One More Light' was filled with bland drivel that is the definition of what it means to sell out in 2017. 'Battle Symphony' is especially bad, since it manages to rip-off one of the worst songs of 2015, Rachel Platten's 'Fight Song'. The chorus seems to have been copied word-for-word and then translated into edgy language to appeal to... seemingly very few people. The production strips any potential for bombast or energy, and it's generally a very sad note to go out on for a writer who made some classics while he was alive.
5. Taylor Swift - Look What You Made Me Do
This is maybe the biggest mistake I've ever seen an artist this big make in the limelight in my 7 years of closely following pop music, and for several weeks after this was released it was being ridiculed by seemingly everybody, and deservedly so. At this point you've heard this, either with utter dismay or with glee, depending on your opinion of Taylor Swift, so I'll Swiftly move on.
4. Hopsin - Happy Ending
There is an official video for this travesty, but I highly recommend not seeking it out - it was so awful it was actually removed from Youtube (At least the high quality version). This song is straight-up racist and it seems to innocently gleeful about it that it's impossible not to listen to the entirety of this with your head in your hands. Hopsin is notorious for his overly serious, self-righteous tunes, but this is infinitely worse. The autotuned fake asian accented chorus (Sample lyric: "I can give you sucky sucky") and the unlistenable second verse - essentially Hopsin reciting his own erotic fanfiction - bind together to make this a laughably awful song.
3. Jake Paul & Co. - It's Everyday Bro
This was the year of eye-roll worthy Youtube diss tracks, and while it was easy to avoid nearly all of them, this song actually crossed over to the billboard hot 100. This is a totally amateur production by a bunch of irritating, arrogant bunch of overgrown children. A number of lyrics have already gone down in the Meme dictionary ("England is my City", "Selling like a God Church" and "Let me Educate ya; I ain't talkin' book", for example), and I think that's a testament to how groan-worthy this song is.
2. AJR - No Grass Today
Twenty-One Pilots have become unfairly maligned by many for their pop sensibilities and admittedly irritating fan-base, but surely even the most hardened TOP hater will give them some credit after hearing this disaster by AJR. Imagine Tyler Jospeh's stilted vocal delivery with lyrics about not smoking weed - although framed in an off-putting and overly defensive way that makes the song seem like it shouldn't exist. Now imagine the worst bridge you've ever heard EVER and you have 'No Grass Today'.
1. Fall-Out Boy - Young and Menace
I knew this was going to be the worst song of the year the moment I heard it. It's so hair-tearingly awful that not even AJR could usurp them. But hey, the first minute isn't even that bad, so how could this be the worst of the year? Well if you drift along the first minute of build-up you will get to the worst drop I have ever heard. Yes, not even the drops of '#SELFIE' or of Will.I.Am's EDM years can compare to this 40-SECOND(!!) horror show of pitch shifted screams and dubstep-leftover production that has produced the most painful, least enjoyable piece of music I have heard this year.
Showing posts with label Worst songs of the Year. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Worst songs of the Year. Show all posts
Wednesday, 29 November 2017
Tuesday, 6 December 2016
Top 10 Worst songs of 2016
Only rule: It has to have been a hit, otherwise this would just be 10 songs form 'Angelic to the Core: Angelic Rockadelic/ Angelic Funkadelic' by Corey Feldman. Now that that's out of the way...
2016 was a rubbish year for pop music, with way more bad songs than good, and it was a suprise to see a good song in the top 10 once in a while whether you lived in the UK or the USA. It seemed like the trend of the year was sounding-like-you're-not-trying and so artists like Drake and Rihanna sleepwalked themselves onto the radio with such force that it made me stop listening to top 40 radio, which I still haven't returned to. But what was the worst of the worst?
10. Fifth Harmony ft. Obligatory Rapper for Mainstream appeal - Work From Home
Where to start, eh? For a group named 'Fifth Harmony' there isn't a whole lot of harmonising going on, or a lot of effort in the vocal department. The lyrics are trash, and I can't help but feel like (combined with the music video) they're just an attempt to sell the 'sexiness' of the song - especially considering it was written by six men. The production has a lullaby feel to it that makes me sleepy and the melody is ripped completely fro the even-worse 'Gotta Get Thru This' by Daniel Bedingfield from 2001, and there's an obligatory rap verse from Ty Dolla Sign.
9. The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey - Closer
Another song that rips it melody straight out of the 2000s, 'Closer' ruins the melody of The Fray's hit 'Over My Head (Cable Car)'. That's far from the only problem, with super-cheap sounding minimalist production and Andrew Taggart giving an unbearable vocal performance. Number one for 10 weeks.
8. Zay Hilfigerrr and Zayion McCall - Juju On That Beat
Another year, another four note stupid dance song. It's no worse than 'Watch me Whip/Nae Nae' or 'Teach Me How To Dougie', but man, I'm getting too old for these kinds of songs. 'If you compare me and you, there wouldn't be no comparance' is maybe the worst lyric of the year.
7. Maroon 5 ft. Kendrick Lamar - Don't Wanna Know
Much like a stupid dance song, at this point it's an annual occurrence for Maroon 5 to release a terrible piece of music, whether it's 'One More Night', 'Animals' or 'This Summer' and once again 'Don't Wanna Know' isn't much worse. It is, however, by far the most boring Maroon 5 (At this point it's just Adam Levine let's be honest) song and KENDRICK LAMAR SHOULD NOT BE ON THIS SONG. The music video's pretty good though.
6. Drake - One Dance
(Yes, it's not the official video, but it's close enough and you know what it sounds like by now.)
'One Dance' doesn't feel like a song. It uses the ultimate stock beat, the most basic sparse piano and an awkward slowed down sample as the 'music' of the song, with lyrics about needing 'a one dance' and Drake sounding asleep the whole time. Now it's the second longest-running number one in UK history.
5. Meghan Trainor - NO
Did Meghan Trainor successfully transfer from making unbearable doo-wop to making edgy 90s pop? NO
Does this song sound good? NO
In all seriousness though, Meghan Trainor could be preaching world peace and I would still feel inclined to disagree because of her self-righteousness and apparent superiority complex.
4. Hailee Steinfeld, Grey ft. Zedd - Starving
It's not too bad until the chorus. Then the lyrics are the first aspect of the song to crash and burn as the line 'By the way, By the way you do things to my body' is confusingly thrown in despite not rhyming, taking all momentum out of the narrative and being a super-clunky line in it's own right. But the real reason this is on here is that AWFUL drop. Just what I want to hear when I tune into Capital FM - Headache-inducing screams from Hell!
3. Charlie Puth - One Call Away
Up until this point I've met someone who likes each of these songs - but none of these top 3 have in my experience got a single fan. 'One Call Away' sounds like the kind of music a senile Puritan grandma would want you to listen to, but Charlie Puth's high pitched squeal of a voice means that even she would flip stations. 'Superman got nothing on me' is not only a line that makes me contort whenever I hear it but is the most forced rhyme of the year.
2. Shawn Mendes - Treat You Better
My least favourite song topic in general is 'I'm going to steal your significant other', and Shawn Mendes' ode from the friend-zone is this topic mixed with awkward teenage angst. It's completely unaware of itself and sounds like something a 14 year-old boy would write in a diary. The production is 'Tropical-flavoured', similarly to Maroon 5's effort, and is equally as boring. The cherry on top is the climactic injured-animal cry of 'BADDADANEEKAN' which is probably the most mockably bad musical moment of the year.
1. Meghan Trainor - Me Too
I'm not exaggerating when I say this is the worst song I have heard in all my time following the charts. Even if I was including anything that came out this year - which includes 'Spoons' by Macklemore and the aforementioned Corey Feldman - This would still be number one. The audacity that somebody with an image as already dislikable as Meghan Trainor to suggest that I would want to LITERALLY BECOME HER is unbearable. This isn't a self-love anthem, but a 'Meghan Trainor love' anthem that somehow became a hit. The production sounds like an autotuned frog reminiscent of a squashed up Will.i.am beat and the lyrics... 'My life's a movie Tom cruise, Bless me baby, ah-choo' is Right Said Fred levels of terrible and by the end of the song you feel legitimate hatred for the performer that calls herself 'Meghan Trainor', mainly because you just had to sit through three minutes of the worst music that will hopefully ever grace the radio. It's all the small things, the 'Turndebassup' refrain the weirdly whisper-spoken chorus the oddly specific lyrics... It doesn't get worse than this.
2016 was a rubbish year for pop music, with way more bad songs than good, and it was a suprise to see a good song in the top 10 once in a while whether you lived in the UK or the USA. It seemed like the trend of the year was sounding-like-you're-not-trying and so artists like Drake and Rihanna sleepwalked themselves onto the radio with such force that it made me stop listening to top 40 radio, which I still haven't returned to. But what was the worst of the worst?
10. Fifth Harmony ft. Obligatory Rapper for Mainstream appeal - Work From Home
Where to start, eh? For a group named 'Fifth Harmony' there isn't a whole lot of harmonising going on, or a lot of effort in the vocal department. The lyrics are trash, and I can't help but feel like (combined with the music video) they're just an attempt to sell the 'sexiness' of the song - especially considering it was written by six men. The production has a lullaby feel to it that makes me sleepy and the melody is ripped completely fro the even-worse 'Gotta Get Thru This' by Daniel Bedingfield from 2001, and there's an obligatory rap verse from Ty Dolla Sign.
9. The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey - Closer
Another song that rips it melody straight out of the 2000s, 'Closer' ruins the melody of The Fray's hit 'Over My Head (Cable Car)'. That's far from the only problem, with super-cheap sounding minimalist production and Andrew Taggart giving an unbearable vocal performance. Number one for 10 weeks.
8. Zay Hilfigerrr and Zayion McCall - Juju On That Beat
Another year, another four note stupid dance song. It's no worse than 'Watch me Whip/Nae Nae' or 'Teach Me How To Dougie', but man, I'm getting too old for these kinds of songs. 'If you compare me and you, there wouldn't be no comparance' is maybe the worst lyric of the year.
7. Maroon 5 ft. Kendrick Lamar - Don't Wanna Know
Much like a stupid dance song, at this point it's an annual occurrence for Maroon 5 to release a terrible piece of music, whether it's 'One More Night', 'Animals' or 'This Summer' and once again 'Don't Wanna Know' isn't much worse. It is, however, by far the most boring Maroon 5 (At this point it's just Adam Levine let's be honest) song and KENDRICK LAMAR SHOULD NOT BE ON THIS SONG. The music video's pretty good though.
6. Drake - One Dance
(Yes, it's not the official video, but it's close enough and you know what it sounds like by now.)
'One Dance' doesn't feel like a song. It uses the ultimate stock beat, the most basic sparse piano and an awkward slowed down sample as the 'music' of the song, with lyrics about needing 'a one dance' and Drake sounding asleep the whole time. Now it's the second longest-running number one in UK history.
5. Meghan Trainor - NO
Did Meghan Trainor successfully transfer from making unbearable doo-wop to making edgy 90s pop? NO
Does this song sound good? NO
In all seriousness though, Meghan Trainor could be preaching world peace and I would still feel inclined to disagree because of her self-righteousness and apparent superiority complex.
4. Hailee Steinfeld, Grey ft. Zedd - Starving
It's not too bad until the chorus. Then the lyrics are the first aspect of the song to crash and burn as the line 'By the way, By the way you do things to my body' is confusingly thrown in despite not rhyming, taking all momentum out of the narrative and being a super-clunky line in it's own right. But the real reason this is on here is that AWFUL drop. Just what I want to hear when I tune into Capital FM - Headache-inducing screams from Hell!
3. Charlie Puth - One Call Away
Up until this point I've met someone who likes each of these songs - but none of these top 3 have in my experience got a single fan. 'One Call Away' sounds like the kind of music a senile Puritan grandma would want you to listen to, but Charlie Puth's high pitched squeal of a voice means that even she would flip stations. 'Superman got nothing on me' is not only a line that makes me contort whenever I hear it but is the most forced rhyme of the year.
2. Shawn Mendes - Treat You Better
My least favourite song topic in general is 'I'm going to steal your significant other', and Shawn Mendes' ode from the friend-zone is this topic mixed with awkward teenage angst. It's completely unaware of itself and sounds like something a 14 year-old boy would write in a diary. The production is 'Tropical-flavoured', similarly to Maroon 5's effort, and is equally as boring. The cherry on top is the climactic injured-animal cry of 'BADDADANEEKAN' which is probably the most mockably bad musical moment of the year.
1. Meghan Trainor - Me Too
I'm not exaggerating when I say this is the worst song I have heard in all my time following the charts. Even if I was including anything that came out this year - which includes 'Spoons' by Macklemore and the aforementioned Corey Feldman - This would still be number one. The audacity that somebody with an image as already dislikable as Meghan Trainor to suggest that I would want to LITERALLY BECOME HER is unbearable. This isn't a self-love anthem, but a 'Meghan Trainor love' anthem that somehow became a hit. The production sounds like an autotuned frog reminiscent of a squashed up Will.i.am beat and the lyrics... 'My life's a movie Tom cruise, Bless me baby, ah-choo' is Right Said Fred levels of terrible and by the end of the song you feel legitimate hatred for the performer that calls herself 'Meghan Trainor', mainly because you just had to sit through three minutes of the worst music that will hopefully ever grace the radio. It's all the small things, the 'Turndebassup' refrain the weirdly whisper-spoken chorus the oddly specific lyrics... It doesn't get worse than this.
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